Yesterday I wrote about my appearance on The Surrogacy Lawyer,  which is a radio show hosted by Theresa Erickson Esq.  The show centers around building families the “non-traditional” way – whether through IVF, egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, or surrogacy.

What I like about “The Surrogacy Lawyer” is that the show focus’s on all parties that may be involved – whether you are an egg donor, sperm donor, surrogate, embryo donor or a prospective parent.

It was really fun participating yesterday – when we took on the issue of the rights of egg donors, and explored the new documentary “Eggsploitation”.  I was really flattered that the segment was inspired by a series of blogs that I did on the subject that inspired a very vibrant Facebook debate!

If you missed the broadcast yesterday – you can listen now via the pod cast! Don’t you love technology?  Click Here To Listen To The Pod Cast “Who Is Looking Out For The Egg Donor”

Are you interested in the blogs that inspired the debate?

Gird Your Loins and Hold Onto Your Ovaries!

Egg Donation From a Different Perspective

What’s Your Egg Donation Agenda

Do you want to join in on the conversation? You can leave a comment here – but I encourage you to “friend me” on Facebook at PamelaMadsen – or just click the Facebook icon on the page to get connected to me! Inside Facebook – we are are having lots of ongoing conversations about this and so much more! Looking forward to talking with you on line!!!

Posted under "Eggsploitation", Egg Donation, Egg Donor Compensation, IVF, In Vitro Fertilization, Infertility, egg donors

It has been an interesting few days in the world of social media and fertility.  Inside the pages of Facebook, we have continued our discussions about egg donation – focusing on the education of the egg donor and the documentary “Eggsploitation: The Fertility Industry Has a Dirty Little Secret”.

Everyone seems to agree that we have a huge void in egg donor education – with conversations running from what is truly informed consent, to the lack of support that is given to books that try to educate the consumer on egg donation. There seems to be lots of information for the couple who needs egg donation – so why not the egg donor?

And then the question becomes who is the best qualified and the most unbiased when it comes to  egg donor education and information? Does anybody not have a horse in this race? Let’s break down all of the stake holders and my list is not a ranking!

1. Infertile couples who need donor eggs to build their families (which by the way includes people of all races and ethnicity, plus every  social economic group.  Women who need egg donation are not simply rich women looking to exploit poor women as Eggsploitation’s expert on the trailer which  is show cased on their website  says with conviction (Yes – that really raised the feathers on the back of my neck!).

2. Egg donors

3. Reproductive Endocrinologists and other  fertility medical experts such nurses, therapists and embryologists  who supply the services that make donor egg a possibility.

4. Pharmaceutical companies who supply the medications that produce the abundance of eggs needed for egg donation.

5. Egg Donation Agencies who are often chosen by the infertile couples over IVF Centers as a source for donor eggs.

6. Reproductive Medicine Attorney’s who help with contracts, legal issues, and sometimes are in the egg donation business.

7. Patient Associations who represent not only the consumer – but are often supported by stake holders in the fertility field.

8. Professional Associations – Whose membership consist of many of the stakeholders.

9.  Right to Life Groups who don’t want embryos created and possibly discarded. These groups often view outlawing any form of IVF as an important bridge to outlawing abortion.

10. Angry former patients – this group includes former and current egg donors, and individuals who used donor egg -  who feel that they were not given informed consent or where things just went sour. Regret is a powerful emotion.

11. Politicians who want to appeal to certain voting demographics.

12. The Media – who love a good story to tell.

13. Centers or Committees on Ethics and Public Policy,  Certified Health educators, and Government offices – These groups are often filled with folks who think they need to keep the rest of us “safe”.

14. Parents, friends  and advocates of the children created through donor egg.

15. Parents, friends and advocates of egg donors.

16. Fertility Consultants: people who have made a career out of guiding people who are trying to conceive and work with all the stake holders.

17. Happy, and Satisfied Patients who have often have nothing but good things to say about their experiences. This group also includes egg donors and recipient individuals.

I don’t know about you – but to me it looks like there are a lot of horses in this race – and every one has an agenda. That is simply a reality.  Does that make the points of view that come through each lens invalid?  I don’t think so – but I think it is good to know where your information is coming from and to take the information in knowing each agenda.

What’s my agenda? I would like for this conversation around the education of egg donors to continue. I think it is past time. The fact sheet that I wanted to develop is ancient history (yeah, I am still angry).

Perhaps the answer is not to look for unbiased information – because perhaps that simply does not exist.  Right now – I just would vote for information to be created and for folks to know who is supplying it! If “Eggsploitation” does one thing for this community filled with passionate, caring people from every corner – it may be to get all of us to wake up, load our horses into the gate and go!

Posted under "Eggsploitation", "Google Baby", Donor Egg, Egg Donation, Egg Donor Compensation, Facebook, Fertility, Fertility Blogs, Fertility Coach, IVF, Infertility, Infertility Consultants, Infertility Funding, Long Awaited Children, egg donors, eggs

Yesterday, I blogged about “Eggsploitation: The Fertility Industry Has a Dirty Little Secret” And then I did what I do – and put it on Facebook and Twitter.  I have all kinds of “friends” – people that I know and don’t know which include many “insiders” in the fertility industry. And  what I saw was the beginning of what has been a gradual self examination practice when it comes to the business of egg donation – and the beginnings of a discussion about how the industry educates egg donors. I would love to help encourage that discussion to continue.

The education of egg donors has been important to me for a very long time.  I may have told this story before – but it is worth telling again.  It also speaks to how money controls public education.  In my day of running patient organizations I had to get funding for all of my educational fact sheets (because there is no federal funding of patient organizations as there exists in some countries like The Netherlands). Getting industry funding for fact sheets at patient organizations is a practice that continues today across the board at many non profits.  Just check the fact sheets – you will see sponsorship listings.  There is no big secret there.

So once upon a time, I wanted to do a fact sheet for potential egg donors – and I asked a big famous doctor at a big famous IVF Center to sponsor it.  I got a big fat yes – and I began the process of writing it. When the doctor got a hold of the fact sheet – he screamed that he was withdrawing the funding because the fact sheet was going to encourage the egg donor to ask too many questions – and answering these questions would take precious time away from the business of running his program.  Would I like to pay him for the time lost in answering egg donor questions that the fact sheet would provoke?

That fact sheet was never created because no one wanted to fund it. It was bad for business.

No matter how conflicted I feel about “Eggsploitation” (you can read their press release here) – especially their portrayal of the egg donor recipient as shown in the trailer on their website, I am glad that The Center For BioEthics and Culture Network produced it. Because while it may be extreme in it’s point of view – it is telling a point of view that needs to be told – and is not being told anywhere else. We need to make room for this perspective on egg donation – because it is real. These young women who are telling their stories are real – even if they don’t represent the majority of the egg donor experiences – it doesn’t make their experience any less valid or important. We need to hear them.

Everyone in the baby making world wants to feel like they are doing the right thing by egg donors, egg donor recipients, and most of all – the children that are created from that match. But money influences the waters. And without egg donor compensation there would be no egg donors. We all know that.

And money influencing the fertility field is not unique to the fertility field – it is a constant factor in every field – that is why big Pharma can’t buy dinner, or even give out pens anymore. We have all begun to acknowledge that fact.  It doesn’t matter how big or how small the donation is – money has this awful habit of controlling things.  And I have no answers – because every one needs money – and money pays the bills to keep the doors open for everyone. Even The Center for Bio Ethics and Culture Network has funders with a point of view.

But I do get disturbed with I see patient organizations with more professional/industry invested board members than patient board members.  And I do get even more disturbed – when I look deeper at who is running the ships – and there is an over abundance of board members in one part of the industry that we as a fertility community depend on for our unbiased information.  It is not that folks who serve in the industry or on non profit boards are evil doers – it is just that we need balance.  And without that balance of professions and areas of interest – there is an  influence in very quiet ways in regard to  the information that the consumer receives.

Yes – it is time for us to go deeper and really look at what information is shared with the consumer – how the information is being positioned – and who in the end – the creation of the educational materials are truly serving.  We must always keep in the front of our brains that consumer education is not marketing.

Posted under Advocacy, Egg Donation, Egg Donor Compensation, Facebook, Fertility, Fertility Blogs, Fertility Education, Fertility Marketing, IVF, In Vitro Fertilization, Infertility, Infertility Funding, egg donors, eggs, patient advocacy

A colleague of mine sent me a link to “Eggsploitation: The Fertility Industry Has a Dirty Little Secret” late last night – her email simply had the link – and word “WOW”.

I sat watching with my mouth looking like a bass fish  – open and gaping – as several young women told their horrifying story of being an egg donor in the United States. They spoke of feeling enticed by the money into donating their eggs – the poor explanations of what they could experience – and the tragedy of the complications that they unexpectedly faced as egg donors. The trailers on the website are riveting – and appalling.

It is certainly not a view – that recipient couples, egg donor coordinators, fertility specialists, and egg donor agencies will likely be comfortable seeing. But does that make it any less valid an exploration?

That is the struggle that those of us who live inside the fertility “industry” really have to grapple with.  So often – when these types of images of the fertility field are presented – we shout “foul play”! We pound our chests – and blog our hearts out about how unfair the media is to our field. You can hear us shout that
the entire story is never told – that the world of infertility is highly sensationalized  and distorted in order to sell magazines – or this evening news story.

Quite frankly – there is a great deal of truth in that opinion and outrage.  Frankly – even in the title of the documentary – calling the experience of egg donors a “dirty little secret’ is beyond over of the top. But the producers of the film  are marketing a documentary! If there is no dirty little secret – why buy a ticket?

And there will be people who will watch the clips – and perhaps even go see the documentary – who will come out drawing an analogy of these young women to aviation safety records – “You know – airplanes land safely every day across the country – thousands of them – and you never hear about that! But if ONE plane goes down – boy does that make the news!”  That’s because there is tragedy when even one airplane goes down – and we need to hear about it.

That is how I feel about “Eggsploitation” even where it fails in it’s own sensationalism. I am still wanting to hear the stories of these young women. It’s that important.  Look -  I didn’t like the trailer featuring the “experts” who said that egg donation is about rich older women taking advantage of younger women with good eggs. That is really horse shit – and shows a complete lack of understanding about the women who need donor egg.  I have never met a woman who needs donor eggs who is anything but grateful to donors. And the majority of the women who need donor egg are not rich.  That characterization was frankly wrong and horrifying – and in my mind brings down the messages that perhaps “Eggsploitation” is trying to get out.

We have to be very, very careful – with the young women who step up to donate their eggs.  We need to be careful about donor compensation being so high that young women feel enticed. We have to do a better job educating donors about the risks of egg donation – no matter how good everyone in the fertility field feels they are already doing it – we will have to do it better. These young women are making what I call “life time decisions” when they decide to donate their eggs. Even when their cycles go perfectly well (and most of them do) – these young women are giving up their genetic material forever – and exposing their bodies to a lot of unknowns in the process at a very young age.  That is simply real.

And we all have to cop to the fact – that no matter how careful we are – no matter how much time is spent – and how carefully these young women are consented and educated in the best of circumstances – people make all kinds of informed  decisions – for all kinds of reasons.

And sometimes – things just don’t go as planned.  And all we are left with is regret, pain and anger.

Posted under Egg Donation, Egg Donor Compensation, Fertility, egg donors, eggs, infertiity

Last Thursday I dropped in on a seminar on egg donation in Argentina.  You see “Cross Border” reproduction,  “Fertility Tourism” or whatever you want to call it works both ways. People come to the United States for fertility treatment because they cannot access certain reproductive technologies  in their countries (such as egg donation and surrogacy) and people leave the United States because they cannot afford to pay for treatment.  It’s kind of wacky – isn’t it? And in all of the coming and going of patients – from one country to the next – has opened a kind of free market among fertility centers to work at attracting them to their centers. I know this. I have done this.

As I sat in the room that Dr. Demian Glujovsky from “Fertility Argentina”  rented in Manhattan – I watched the couples and single women roll in. I introduced myself – I got the feeling that Dr. Glujovsky was not thrilled that I was there. I was not a potential patient. He didn’t offer me any bottled water the way he offered the other maybe 20 people who sat with me and listened to a bit of tourism rolled into low cost baby making.

Did you know that Argentina is famous for tango dancing? We were shown pictures of a beautiful town outside of Buenos Aires where one could go skiing in the winter….or swimming in the summer. Very nice. I was reminded of how the American programs spoke about visiting NYC or Washington DC  to the lovely potential patients in the United Kingdom.

My stomach clenched in the memory. Yep – I think that I even did that at the Fertility Fair in London. Somehow – I was liking it less now. Interesting huh? Mirror, mirror on the wall?

We learned about the time line – how long it would take to make a baby via egg donation the South American way – about three months….The time one would spend in the airplane – about ten hours each way – Dr. Glujovsky assured us that “You can do it!” – and that egg donors were paid modestly and shared 2.6 ways to help reduce the cost.  2.6? I never understand numbers like that. I mean – who gets the .6?  I found myself mentally counting potential off spring from each donor – so if the donor donates 6 times – that is a lot of half sibs in the world….

Potential patients were told that they could count on getting four eggs and two embryos.  Fertility Argentina was not into cryo preservation.  If you didn’t get pregnant – come back. So was it really cheaper after all? I found myself playing with the numbers – I guess it depended on your luck. But what if you were not so lucky – was the price really cheaper then? I wasn’t sure.

I left before the seminar was over. I had heard enough. Dr. Glujovsky seemed like a nice enough man – and reputable enough as well.  His center in Argentina did a tremendous amount of cycles. There was nothing shady going on. No big expose to write.

Certainly flying 20 hours round trip to Argentina – seeing tango dancers – eating good beef and making a baby for less money – was an option.  Just as flying to NYC, seeing a Broadway show, the statue of Liberty of Liberty – and getting access to egg donation with American protocols was also an option for the patients that fly into the US every day to build their families.

So what was bothering me? I have to be honest – I am not really sure.

Perhaps it is that this is necessary at all.  That no matter which way the patients are flying – to the United States or out of the United States – that they are forced to leave their homes to get access to care to build their families. Perhaps it is the commercialization of infertility – the heavy marketing  – the hard sells.  I mean – it used to be that people went to IVF Clinics because they wanted a baby desperately – should we even be talking about museums?  Do other fields of medicine do this? What do you think?

Bottled water anyone?

Posted under "Cross Border Fertility Treatment", Donor Egg, Egg Donation, Egg Donor Compensation, Fertility, In Vitro Fertilization, Infertility, egg donors, eggs

You know – when I was a kid – you didn’t hear about gay men wanting to become fathers.  There was so much to being a gay man in America – much of it was around basic survival in a society that  was only beginning to offer acceptance.  But now when I talk to young gay men – in their teens and twenties – becoming a father is as important to many of them as finding a good man to marry.  Some in the LGBT world would call this the assimilation of  gay men into “breeder culture”.  I say hog wash.  It’s simply evolution. When more opportunities are possible – people expand their desires.

To me it is about wanting the very natural and simple human connections of a life partner, children and family. Who says that gay men and women for that matter are not entitled to that if they want that? But there are people in the straight world – that don’t want to support gay marriage – or gay family building – and there are people in the gay world who view gay men who are creating families as “assimilators” or “Breeders”. My, we are a tough room to play – us humans. Don’t you think?

The world of gay male reproduction is a bit more complicated than most straight couples – infertile or fertile – or lesbian couples.  Yes – of course they come with plenty of sperm (in most cases), but it is the need for eggs and a surrogate that ups the ante for them.  It’s not just the emotional ante – it’s the legal and financial toll as well. Gay men who enter this world need a lot of support in so many ways.

They need to be able to afford to go through an extensive process of screening, finding a surrogate and an egg donor – as well as doing their family building in a state that will support their rights to the child once the baby is born.  California has been the most popular place for gay men who use surrogacy to build their families – and in the east coast – New Jersey and Connecticut.  But many still feel that California has the most protective laws for gay men building their families through surrogacy.

There are many surrogate and egg donation agencies that work with reproductive endocrinologists – the choices that gay men have now in who they work with are extensive. Often – straight doctors who are very happy to provide the services that gay men need to build their families.

But what I love – is when a well known gay man – who is known in the “straight” community as an exemplary reproductive endocrinologist for all people -  comes out to help other gay men build their families. To me – that is something really special.  Dr. Guy E. Ringler of California Fertility Partners recently profiled in The Fertility Race helping “Two Men and a Baby” is one of those men.  They even have “Gay Family Building” on their tool bar on their website.

To me – that is evolution.  Side by side with straight and lesbian couples – gay men are now building their families – and the slang “Gay Daddy” has come to have an entirely different meaning. Now it means  “Father”.

Posted under Egg Donation, Gay Marriage, Gay and Lesbian Family Building, change, egg donors

So Facebook is buzzing about “Google Baby” which I keep wanting to call “Global Baby”.  It is in my news feed over and over again as various members of the infertility/fertility community watch it on HBO. In case you didn’t know “Google Baby” is a new documentary on HBO exploring this new age of reproductive medicine – where people from around the world are connecting over the internet – and traveling the globe to build their families.  “Google Baby” primary focuses on the newly coined term “reproductive outsourcing” of surrogacy and egg donation. Outsourcing? I guess Reproductive Tourism or even “Cross Border Fertility Treatment”  is so yesterday.

“Outsourcing to India is very trendy right now,” observes Israeli entrepreneur Doron Mamet – who has is featured in the documentary.  He talks in the film about how in Israel, it isn’t allowed for women to sell their eggs and makes it difficult for gay men to adopt. Mamet, a gay man and his  partner traveled to the United States to do surrogacy – and found that most of his friends simply could not afford the price tag which hovered around$100,000 for the egg donor and the surrogate.

As a result of his life experience – Doron went into business and created a company that  provides the service of combining embryos created in the U.S with surrogates from the clinic of fertility specialist Nayna Patel in Anand, India. And so we get to watch as Dr. Patel talks on the phone to a perspective client – while delivering a baby (I have seen a reproductive endocrinologist in the US talk on his phone while doing an egg retrieval),  and counsel a perspective surrogate and her husband about the meat and potatoes of being a surrogate in India – mostly through  Caesarian deliveries.

As opposed to US Surrogacy – the surrogates live in a home that Patel provides for the women – and they must leave their families and accept a sort of group confinement until they give birth and land over the babies. I was struck by how brave these soft spoken women who were the surrogates were and how determined.  They were portrayed as mostly low-caste, and they were doing all of this – making this incredible sacrifice so that they could earn the money to buy a home or educate their children.

I wasn’t sure how to feel.  But my stomach was in knots as my eyes couldn’t peel away from the television screen.

Yes – these women were paid a much lower wage then their US surrogate sisters – but their money seemed to go a lot farther. These women were changing their lives by giving life – and it was rough. They cried as they gave up the babies – it was wrenching. And then later – we get to see them happy in their new homes as their husbands plotted for them to go back to get the money for their child’s education. What to think? Were these women in power of their bodies – doing what they wanted to do to get what they wanted in life – or were they just being used again by forces bigger than themselves?

Can we say that about American egg donors and Surrogates? Is it so different – or does it just look different because in the US – the pay check is bigger – and the women get to live at home? Who is to judge?  Film Director Zippi Brand Frank tries to give us a little cultural perspective by letting us see the overwhelmingly  different life circumstances of an American egg donor “Kat,” who was using the money to fix up her  large suburban home and buy guns. We get to watch her give herself injections of fertility drugs with her young daughter “assisting”.  It was not exactly heart warming.

“Google Baby” makes sure to drive home the fact that this is a business – with lots of hands in the pot.  And we are left with the question – Is there  something inherently wrong or evil with the treatment of these women and the practice of international surrogacy and egg donation? Or dare I say it – how it is the same and different to what is happening in the US?

“Google Baby” also does the gay couple or the infertile couple – for whom this entire dance is not about  business  but something more primal a huge disservice.  It is hard to remember watching this film that all of this is going on because people want to have families – and often cannot. And that many people are  trying to build a family with limited means and no health insurance.  It is the coarseness of the  opening statement of “Google Baby” that totally set me off:

“Today’s  New Technologies have taken the sex out of the act of making babies Now all you need is a credit card and the instructions can be found on You Tube”.

The complete lack of understanding of the infertile couple’s experience was shown in that opening statement of “Google Baby”.  In fact it showed the same deep disregard for the infertile trying desperately to have a baby – as Dr. Patel showed for her patient when she chose to take a call from a potential client as her hands were in the belly of a surrogate while stitching her up from her Cesarean section. The surrogate was crying with the loss of the baby – her hands gently reaching for one touch of that babies head as he was taken from her. Dr. Patel seemed to hardly skip a beat.

In the end  – we are left with women making incredible sacrifices for each other – and their families – while the business  of reproductive medicine marches on.

Posted under "Cross Border Fertility Treatment", "Google Baby", Egg Donation, Egg Donor Compensation, Facebook, Fertility, Infertility, Queer Families, Recession and Fertility, Recession and Fertility Treatment, Surrogacy, birth, egg donors, embryos

The issue of egg donor compensation – how much is too much – or should donors be compensated at all – has been around almost as long as egg donation. And once again – the media calls are starting to come in with the usual questions.

Nobody in the fertility field likes to draw too much attention to egg donor compensation – and the issues that surrounds it. It is bad for business – and it could be bad for couples that need donor eggs to build their families. Over my many years of working as a fertility advocate – egg donor compensation has always been a hot button issue. Everyone likes the idea that women who donate their eggs do it completely out of the goodness of their heart…because they are motivated and drawn to helping infertile women have a child.  And, many of them may feel really good about that part of the equation. But the hard facts are – in countries where there is no egg donor compensation there are few egg donors.  Egg donor compensation is crucial for keeping egg donation alive.

Egg donation also remains a way for young women with few financial resources to raise between $8,000 and $10,000 in a relatively short period of time.  Some egg donors do this over and over again – traveling from one center to another with no one tracking their donation history. And there have always been rumors of some young women being paid much higher numbers to correspond with their SAT scores, good looks, and where they are enrolled in college. Doesn’t sound pretty – does it?  Well, sometimes it’s not.

A recent article from CNN reports on the recent rise of potential egg donors across the country.

The women profiled in the story are quite clear – they need the money to make ends meet. Now – not just anyone can be an egg donor.  Egg donors have to go through a rigorous physical and psychological screening process – but how do we feel about women being so highly motivated by compensation? Does it matter? Should anyone care that the numbers of egg donors have risen with a falling economy? Do we need even more safety checks in the system to make sure that these women truly understand that while they are fixing short term economic problems in their lives – that they are making life time decisions about giving up their genetic material. Desperate people do desperate things – and do we want desperate egg donors who are lured in by big compensation dollars?

Today more than ever – all of us in the “baby making business” have to be more vigilant than ever in managing the lines between fair compensation and enticement.  Because as we all  know – the compensation will be spent – and the decisions that these women are making now more than ever out of financial stress – are decisions that they will have to live with for a life time.

Posted under Donor Egg, Egg Donation, Egg Donor Compensation, Fertility, Infertility, egg donors

I have been quite vocal about hating contests when it comes to health care. I don’t believe that it is a good thing for reproductive medicine to raffle off free donor eggs or even IVF cycles.  I don’t like the idea of asking people to bleed their hearts out into an essay to win a cycle of medications from a drug company.  I just hate all of that. But let me tell you something that I do like – and that is the concept of  the free fertility consultation - I like it so much that it is my number one “Do” in my top ten list of “Fertility Do’s”.

Let me tell you why I think  these opportunities work for the patient trying to conceive (TTC).  First of all – everyone is eligible to receive a free consultation at most of the IVF Centers that offer these.  If you don’t see it on their website – call and ask.  Centers like East Coast Fertility make free consultations easy – you just fill out the simple contact form on their website or call. That is all you need to do. Everyone is eligable. You do not have to show need, write an essay or hope to win with the lucky number.  Free consultations are not a contest. It is an opportunity for a patient to save up to $400.00 on getting some direction, or redirection on their conception plan.

Why would they want to offer you their time which is pretty precious at no cost to you?

Well, frankly it is good business practice for them – they get you in the door. But I am not so concerned about the why it is good for them – let’s look at why it is good for the consumer by breaking down the “free fertility consultation” from the patient perspective.

What You Can Expect From a Free Initial Fertility Consultation:

1. You will need to get your medical records to the doctor before your visit if the consultation is really going to do anything for you. If the fertility center that is offering the free consultation does not ask for the records ahead of your visit – I would be concerned about the true value of your consultation. The doctor needs time to review your history/records to assist him/her in making an assessment of your previous care and suggest changes you may need to make in order to create your dreams of a family.

2. Don’t expect to have blood drawn, a pelvic exam or an ultrasound done at a free consultation. If these services are offered – usually there will be a charge for them. Physical exams will in most case occur if you decide to enter treatment with the doctor and program.

3. Use the free fertility exam to get your questions answered by a top reproductive endocrinologist other than the doctor that you are currently seeing.  As I have said, this is a great opportunity for that second opinion! . A free fertility consultation is a great way to get that second pair of expert eyes on your case. It is often through a second opinion that you will find a new road on your path to parenthood. On the other hand, a free consultation may reassure you that you are presently at the right place for treatment and no change is necessary. It is just time to keep the faith and stay the course at your present center.

4. Use the free consultation to learn about innovative new treatment plans that you may not have heard of before – such as “Micro IVF” , “Single Embryo Transfer Program“,as well as learn about studies that the center might be offering and that may be available for you to participate in to reduce your cost, contribute to science and perhaps even improve your success rates. You should also use the free consultation to spend time with their financing and insurance expert who should be able to walk you through all of the various financing and grant programs that the center may be offer. It is important to really get a handle on how you can afford your treatment without mortgaging your future. A free consultation is a wonderful way to get the time with that important expert!

5. Use the free consultation to get an overview of the program and the doctors. Do you like the atmosphere of the center? Are the staff friendly and warm? How was the experience for you when you booked the appointment for the free consultation? If it wasn’t great – probably that is an indicator of what is to come! This is a first date! Do you want a second? How well were you treated?

6. Are you still with your gynecologist and uncertain about whether or not it is time to move on to a fertility specialist? Use the free fertility consultation to have that important conversation with an expert.

7. Are you facing a difficult decision such as moving on to egg donation? Once again – getting the second pair of eyes on your case may be the perfect solution to knowing that you are making the right decision.

My best advice when it comes to free fertility consultations and second opinions? Take them.

Posted under DOH Grants, Donor Egg, East Coast Fertility, Fertility, Fertility Advocate's Hot List, IVF, IVF Essay Contests, IVF Raffles, IVF and Egg Raffles, In Vitro Fertilization, Infertility, Infertility Funding, Infertility Grants, Micro-IVF, Mini IVF, Single Embryo Transfer Program, egg donors

I love blogs and blogging. Sometime I wonder what I did with my time before I discovered this incredible means of instant communication.  But let’s face it – some people are simply better at blogging than others.  Every once in a while – I enjoy introducing you to some bloggers that you may not have met before – or others that have written specially good blogs that I would hate for you to miss. And you know me – whether it is about infertility, fertility, sex, weight or female self image – I am on it like beans on rice!

So – here are a few my favorites this week.  I just came across “IF Crossroads” frankly because Michelle posted a comment on my blog!  Michelle is in that special place on being pregnant after infertility – at the crossroads between the worlds. I remember that place so deeply – and that place of fitting in – and not fitting in between the fertiles and the infertiles can be amazingly challenging. It is a great blog! I was reading one of her entries  that she wrote about the sex of her child – and what I call “the child imagined” – and I wanted to email her my blog about just that subject!  What I love about the blogosphere – is how we can hold each others hands through it all – and when I went to find her site yesterday to include her in my round up – I got this huge hug from Michelle! Because even though I had never met her – and I didn’t email her the blog on the Child Imagined – she found it and loved it.  And I was able to hold her just where she is right now in her life – and tell her that I do understand, she is not alone – and everything that she is feeling is normal! Isn’t it amazing how we can provide comfort to strangers through the blogosphere? It simply amazes me.  So check out Michelle’s blog – it is great and right now we are having a little mutual admiration party – so forgive us!

And then on Facebook yesterday (If you are not my friend on Facebook or following me on twittering you are missing out on some great stuff!)  – Dr. Edward Ramirez posted in his news stream about a blog that he has been following called “Life and Love in The Petri Dish”.  From the blog description:

“Mo and Will are two 30-something health care professionals traveling the steeper than expected road to parenthood. First came love, then came marriage, then came 6 IVFs and 5 miscarriages. Now into our 3rd year of wedded life, we are cautiously hopeful and steeling ourselves against further disappointment as we continue our efforts to start a family”.

The blog is real and sometimes raw.  I join Dr. Ramirez in recommending that you jack in and spend a little time in the world of Mo and Will.

Both of these blogs written by people in the midst of one stage or another of infertility – reminded me of how important it is that we keep our hearts in a place of loving compassion for each other and ourselves.   A wonderful piece from the blog “Zenhabits” called “A Guide to Cultivating Compassion in Your Life with 7 Practices” – is a great introduction to living a compassionate life.  It truly is a practice.

Feathers are still flying in the fertility community in regard to the concept of “Fertility Raffles”. The latest blog  on the subject “Is It Wrong to Raffle Off a Donor Egg Cycle” belongs to Rachel Gurevich at About.com.

I like Rachel – and I always enjoy her perspective on things. What I like about her blog is that she talking about all of this from the patient perspective – both the egg donor as a patient and the infertile couple as opposed to what is good ROI for the fertility industry.  Isn’t that the perspective that patient advocates are suppose to take?

In the world of doctor bloggers this week -  there were a couple of stand out entries -  of course Dr. David Kreiner (who really is an amazing blogger)  who wrote a piece that I just loved called “Do Financial Discussions  Have a Place in Fertility Consultations With The Doctor?“  If you have not checked out his blog “The Fertility Doc” - you are really missing out. It is not your usual “Doctor Blog”!

And I have really enjoyed getting to know Dr. Edward J. Ramirez, a reproductive endocrinologist in Northern California through the cyber ether. Dr. Ramirez also has an interesting blog that he calls “Women’s Health and Fertility”. Dr. Ramirez works hard out reaching out to the fertility community – whether it is patients,  patient advocates, or his colleagues.  I really respect that.   His blog is more of a question and answer forum – do you have a question for the good doctor? He is likely to make a blog out of it! And if you have a question about your reproductive health care – I bet you might find the answer already written on his blog. Just put it in the search!

The winner of best blog title of the week goes to Andrew Vorzimer, Esq over at his blog “The Spin Doctor”!  Andy takes it with  “Surrogacy and Brothels Make Strange Bedfellows”. Ya think?

Posted under Dave Kreiner, Donor Egg, Dr. Dave Kreiner, Egg Donation, Egg Donor Compensation, Facebook, Female Self Image, Fertility, Fertility Blogs, Fertility Support, IVF, IVF Raffles, IVF and Egg Raffles, In Vitro Fertilization, MD, Pregnancy After Infertility, Women's Health Care, egg donors, infertiity, miscarriage