When you man calls and asks “What’s for dinner?” if you are TTC – you might want to make it fish! According to Conceive Magazine fatty fish such as salmon  contain high levels of omega 3 fatty acids and new research is showing that one of these acids in particular may be helpful in treating male infertility.

The research is out of the University of of Illinois at Urbana-Chapaign where they have studied mice that had been specially bred to be infertile because they lack an enyme needed to make the omega 3 acid DHA. These mice were able to make a few sperm – but not enough to make baby mice.  But when these little critters were feed a diet rich with Omega 3 DHA – there fertility was completely restored.

Lox on a bagel anyone?

Posted under Fertility, Fertility Tips, male infertility

RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association is in the midst of launching a new public awareness campaign: “People with Infertility Are Being Ignored.”

This campaign focuses on an age old problem that has haunted people with infertility since the beginning of time – it is a disease of shame and shaming.  And what I know about shame is that it creates silence. When you are in a place of shame – what you are saying “Please do not notice me”.

And if people suffering with infertility are not noticed – then we will not get the health care that we need. That is what ACT UP was all about. It was getting people who have hid in the shadows to come out and be seen – and a cure.  It is way past raising awareness – it is about taking away the problem.

So how do we create a Shameless community that is willing to not only educate and raise awareness but demand health care coverage and a cure? That is  truly the question.  We all know that shame breeds silence – and silence allows for inaction.

Barbara Collura, Executive Director of RESOLVE wants everyone to take a pledge to raise infertility awareness. Okay – that sounds good. I have been doing that for 20 years – and yet when I recently allowed one of my blogs to be reprinted on a website that has varied content called Carnalnation – my blog was FLAMED.  Now this website has EVERYTHING on it  – and the readers decide to shame infertility? That should tell you something about how so many people view infertility! Do you want to see shaming and ignorance at it’s best? Go check out the comments.  Are these the kind of comments that keeps  many in the closet? I didn’t respond to even one of them to try to raise awareness. I thought about it several times – but I just didn’t have the strength to wrestle with ignorance.

Let’s face it – it is risky for anyone to go out there – and talk about infertility. There are people who still feel that people who  are struggling with infertility are selfish, narcissistic wanna be breeders and that the government should not do anything to help them – as there are more important issues at hand. You know – like world peace.

And world peace is important. But I can’t help but remember what a Rabbi said once to me – what he said was that when you help one family – you are saving a world. Because for that family – it is their world.

So – how brave are you? Are you ready to take the pledge? Are you ready to save the world? One world? Start a blog.  Make noise on Facebook – Twitter with a #Infertility in your message.  Respond to the comments on CarnalNation.com!!!

And by the way  – if you just don’t have the strength – I get it.

Posted under Advocacy, Fertility, Fertility Blogs, Fertility Support, Infertility, RESOLVE, change

It was not such a long time ago when there were only a few voices in the world of infertility that were recognized fertility advocates. My voice was one of them of those lone few.  If the media wanted to know the patient perspective on anything in the world of trying to conceive they were usually sent to me – or a handful of others who were willing to be “out” about infertility.

This was the days before blogs, twitter, and facebook.  Everything has now changed through the world of social media. Now everyone can tell their story – for the same reasons that I told mine. And they don’t even have to give their true identity up if they don’t want to! They can still be heard. Today’s bloggers, tweeters and facebook posters are raising awareness about infertility in a way that we could only have dreamed about ten years ago. And they are doing it for many of the same reasons that I spoke out so many years ago.

I started my role as an advocate because of my need to give myself a voice as a patient and it was that need that helped me become a voice for thousands.  And now – there are hundreds of advocates out there in cyber ether! And we are communicating with each other with lightening speed. It is amazing – and the support, education and advocacy that is going on from lap tops all over the world simply blows my mind. There are so many different voices coming together – working with each other – sharing points of views and opinions in a way that used to be reserved only for occasional meetings of self appointed important “players” in the field of reproductive medicine. Just like the closing of video rental stores around the country – with days of an exclusive club of change makers are over.

You want to know what is going on in the world of reproductive medicine, fertility, infertility and sexuality – jack into the blogs – get yourself a tweeter account – and a facebook profile. That is where the change is happening. And you can start by friending and following me.  This world of social media and on line education, support and advocacy is exploding! Connect with it today – there are lots of seats at the table – and all are welcome!

Posted under Fertility, Fertility Education, Social Media, infertiity

As a fertility and sexuality educator, it is not a surprise to me to find that for many women, our reproductive and sexual organs are still a mystery for far too many woman.

It’s not that we don’t know that most of us are born with ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, cervix, vagina and a vulva – MOST of us know that – it’s just that we don’t truly have a picture of our body parts in our heads that is real and authentic.  A big part of that is the reality that a woman’s sexual and reproductive parts are mostly internal.  And frankly, medical drawings are just not the same as seeing what we really have inside.  If woman are truly to get to know themselves - and embrace their bodies – we need more contact with our own bodies.

I have written again and again about the trend among some women to have their inner labia “shortened” to look “prettier” and “neater”.  And I will keep writing about it – because it makes me crazy. Did you ever hear of a man having his penis shortened?  And, by whose standards is a shorter labia prettier? The only images that many women see of other women’s vulvas is in erotic photographs that are displayed in magazines such as “Playboy”.  So, millions of women are seeing “photo shopped” and clipped inner labias that fit with someone else’s esthetic – and not necessarily  seeing the diversity in inner labia size. So, they end up thinking that their inner labia is ugly – instead of embracing themselves as beautiful, unique and sexy.

There have been a few photo books of vulva’s that have become available – and I have recently heard of a new one that is about to be released called “Heart of The Flower” – a book about how women feel about their vulva’s with pictures. These books are important for young girls – so that they can grow up feeling beautiful and comfortable with the diversity of a women’s gentila. These books are not pornography – they are written to give women a sense of themselves as sexual beings – with the hope of making them feel more comfortable in their own bodies.  I think that one of these books would be a great gift from a mother to a daughter.

Recently, I came across a wonderful website called “My Beautiful Cervix”. It is a daily photo journal that a mid wife took of her own cervix. I found it fascinating. I had never seen pictures of a cervix during an entire menstrual cycle.  And, I found that I had to get used to looking at what a cervix looked liked. I paid attention to my own emotional reactions. What did I think about how her cervix looked? Could I imagine what mine looked like? I had actually never seen my own cervix. Lots of other people had! My God, I had spent years in fertility treatment! You would think that some one in all of that time would have handed me a mirror!

While Conceive Magazine also had a great piece in their Winter 2009 Edition called “Your Cycle Explained” which talked the reader through the changes in a woman’s body through one month’s cycle – seeing the photos and the mid wife’s description on “My Beautiful Cervix” – really brought it all home to me. And created a desire in me to actually do more than touch my own cervix – but to see it and make friends with it!

We need to offer women more than medical sketches. We need to offer them the opportunity to look freely at images of other women – and at their own bodies. It is only through seeing and knowing what are the normal variations  – that we will become loving and accepting of ourselves.

And if we wish to become Mother’s…..what greater gift can we give our children. Love, acceptance and celebration get passed on…..just as easily as shame.

Posted under Body Image, Conceive Magazine, Female Self Image, Fertility

I don’t love gray roots. I am talking hair here – not plants.  I am not one of those fantastic looking women with gray hair.  You know the ones that pull off that look so superbly? The rest of us just look like we have Brillo on our heads. And that skunk line is something to also be avoided at all costs!

But I worry about the chemicals – and when I was trying to conceive and pregnant – coloring my hair was a real guilt trip for me.  Just so you know – I colored! I have written before about the health concerns of cosmetics – and it is a relief to know that products are finally coming to the market that support us in feeling beautiful without endangering our health.

For instance – now you can let go of the guilt and the gray! There is a new vegan, plant-based hair products from Advanced Cosmetic Technologies which permanently colors hair without the harsh chemicals. Yes it is true – there is no bleach, peroxide, ammonia and parapbens – you can keep your gray hidden while you are TTC and pregnant!

You can order on line here. Tell them that The Fertility Advocate sent you!

Posted under Fertility, Fertility Tips

I haven’t done a round up in a long time – but there is a lot of amazing blogs, cool services, conferences and products that have happened recently – and I want to make sure that you don’t miss them! And I have to be honest – I get so much information in my Facebook News Stream – that I would miss half of what is going on if I wasn’t a member of that community! If you want to jack into my community – I welcome you to add me as a friend or follow me on Twitter @PamelaMadsen.

So here is a taste of what I think is worth noting this week! There are  two great new products in the world of menstruation.  One for young girls who are beginning their menses called “The Dot Girl – First Period Kit”. I have to say that I love this product – and their tag line “Informed Girls – Empowered Women”.  Right on. It’s not that girls need any special kind of kit really for their first period – but the product opens the door for mothers or other significant adults in the young girls world to initiate a conversation with them about getting their first period. I totally support that! Let’s work on making girls comfortable with their bodies right from the start!

For us older women – it’s important to keep track of your cycles. There are so many reasons why women should do that – and it’s not just to be able to tell your gynecologist when the date of your last period is! Don’t you hate that question when you have no clue? Here are some of the reasons that you might want to keep track of your cycles:

1. Its a great way to make friends with your body. Get to know the normal ebb and flow of your hormones – what is normal and what is not.

2. Identify issues early on. If your cycles are irregular that could be a symptom of a larger problem. Keeping track lets you know that.

3.  If you are trying to conceive (TTC) – knowing your cycles will help you in planning your pregnancies – and if you don’t conceive when you expect to conceive – having a record is great information for your doctor!

There are many more reasons why you should know your cycle history – and there is a great new product called  My Cycle Diary that looks really easy and convenient to use. So check it out! And while we are on the subject of menstrual health – Please check out a wonderful organization devoted to this very subject called Rachel’s Well. You will be glad that you did.

In the world women’s reproductive rights – a new “morning after drug” has been approved by the FDA called “Ella”. You can read all about it here.

And on an entirely different note – there are some fabulous blogs out there right now – I love today’s post at The Fertility Daily by Dr. Eli Rybak on Rabbinically Supervised A.R.T. The Orthodox Jewish community has special concerns when they enter the world of assisted reproduction. That is why A. T.I.M.E. was formed – a support group for orthodox couples doing through infertility.  If you are not familiar with A. TIME – check them out – and if you want to learn about “Kosher Fertility Treatment” jack into Dr. Rybak’s blog. I loved it.

Have you ever attended a reproductive health conference? My favorite conference for reproductive health professionals is coming up soon in Atlanta – and it is run by The Association of Reproductive Health Professionals (ARHP).  These folks do it all – fertility, sexuality and birth control.  You can check out the conference details here. I know that I am trying to make it this year!

I could keep going! There is so much going on in the world wide web of reproductive health – but I am going to stop here for now – except to invite you to visit my new website and blog – that focuses on healthy sexuality.  Being Shameless is the place to read my newest blog – learn about my upcoming memoir SHAMELESS. On my new site you can not only jack into the blog  – but you can read an exclusive excerpt from my book, learn about why I wrote it  – and become a part of my community there too! There is lots of Pamela to spread around.  So keep visiting here – every day – and book mark Being Shameless! I hope to see you over there too!

Posted under Advocacy, Body Image, Female Sexual Desire, Fertility, Fertility Advocate's Hot List, Fertility Blogs, Fertility Support, IVF, In Vitro Fertilization, Infertility, Jewish Infertility Support, Rachel's Well, Sex Education, Shameless, conception tips, menstruation, sexual health, sexuality

It can be so much fun being a fertility and sex educator. I get all of these fabulous press releases every day in my email – samples of all kinds of things to try from lube to ovulation predictor kits! The latest press release vying for my attention was a  fun new quiz put together by the experts at STDTestExpress. The quiz is designed to invoke some laughs, but also remind everyone howimportant it is take care of your sexual health.

Questions range from basic STD statistics to the best ways to make sure you’re not another one of those stats. When finished, your score will tell you if you’re the sexual health know it all  you think you are or if your lack of knowledge will have potentially hurt your own health, your future fertility or your unsuspecting sexual partner. Many people do not know Sexually Transmitted Diseases is one of the leading causes of infertility. So if you are trying to conceive – and you have not been tested – please do it. It’s easy – in fact you can do it at home!

So…Are You A Sexual Health Guru? Take the Quiz and find out! I wonder what is coming in the mail next?

Posted under Fertility, Infertility, Sex, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, sexual health, sexuality

My son the other day was tapping his fingers on the table. It was a nervous gesture – one that I recognized from 29 years of marriage to his father. It always made me crazy when my husband did that – so of course now – my son does it too.  My sons ages 18 and 22, just like their dad did – are  also losing their hair way too fast (they are still gorgeous)! They are also incredibly bright – funny – verbal and have huge hearts that are displayed every time they carry in groceries for a neighbor without anyone asking. They get that from their dad too.

Genetics is a mixed bag. It has always been. And yet – we want to pass along it all to our children. Our funny nose – and curly hair – the unique mix of us. Eighteen years ago, a fertility technique called intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection, or ICSI, changed the face of reproductive medicine by allowing men that could never become a genetic father overcome male infertility by taking a single sperm and injecting into the egg.  This revolutionary procedure helped countless men become fathers – and it has been estimated that close to a million babies have been born through ICSI since the procedure was developed.

Posted under Fertility, ICSI, IVF Kids, In Vitro Fertilization, Infertility, Sons of ICSI, genetics, male infertility

Time does march on. Elizabeth Carr , America’s first “Test Tube Baby” is all grown up and as reported in papers all over the place – has become a mother of a beautiful little boy.  Yes – she reports – she had her baby “the old fashioned way”. And she talks a lot about what life was like growing up under the micro scope of being a high profile high tech kid.

I first met Elizabeth Carr at a World Fertility Awareness Month  (WFAM) event that I ran as Executive Director and Founder of The American Fertility Association – back in the day. I had created WFAM to have a pink ribbon kind of event for everyone around the world to come together during the month of June to recognize infertility. We gave the logo out to anyone that wanted to use it to raise awareness  on a global scale of infertility, as well as a tool kit for running WFAM events.  It was very successful – and the United Nations offered to host one our celebrations in NYC.

We decided to focus the event around the kids of IVF – something that I was deeply committed to. We had a panel of kids who were “Test Tube” conceived,  talk about how they felt about being an IVF kid. We had Elizabeth Carr, two young ladies from Ireland and my two sons speak. It was a wonderful event.

Here were these kids – talking about how grateful they were for the science that gave them life. But it was also more than that – they spoke with compassion for their parents and the pain that they went through with infertility. These kids wanted other potential parents to know – that it could be alright. That they could be born – that it was possible – and as the saying goes “The Kids Are All Right!”

It was a wonderful day to remember. And when I came across the coverage that sweet, bright, vocal Elizabeth was now a mom – and still speaking out. I was really moved.  My sons, Tyler and Spencer also spoke all over the world about being an IVF kid. And now too – they are IVF men. Tyler has graduated college and has a big boy job. And Spencer will be going off to college in a month.

One day before I know it – I will be a grandmother. And that’s what it’s all about. IVF simply let us join in on this fabulous human experience of having a family.

Congratulations Elizabeth!

Posted under Advocacy, Biological Clock, Elizabeth Carr, Fertility, Fertility Education, Fertility Support, IVF, IVF Kids, In Vitro Fertilization, Infertility, The American Fertility Association, World Fertility Awareness Month, inspirational thoughts

It has been an interesting few days in the world of social media and fertility.  Inside the pages of Facebook, we have continued our discussions about egg donation – focusing on the education of the egg donor and the documentary “Eggsploitation: The Fertility Industry Has a Dirty Little Secret”.

Everyone seems to agree that we have a huge void in egg donor education – with conversations running from what is truly informed consent, to the lack of support that is given to books that try to educate the consumer on egg donation. There seems to be lots of information for the couple who needs egg donation – so why not the egg donor?

And then the question becomes who is the best qualified and the most unbiased when it comes to  egg donor education and information? Does anybody not have a horse in this race? Let’s break down all of the stake holders and my list is not a ranking!

1. Infertile couples who need donor eggs to build their families (which by the way includes people of all races and ethnicity, plus every  social economic group.  Women who need egg donation are not simply rich women looking to exploit poor women as Eggsploitation’s expert on the trailer which  is show cased on their website  says with conviction (Yes – that really raised the feathers on the back of my neck!).

2. Egg donors

3. Reproductive Endocrinologists and other  fertility medical experts such nurses, therapists and embryologists  who supply the services that make donor egg a possibility.

4. Pharmaceutical companies who supply the medications that produce the abundance of eggs needed for egg donation.

5. Egg Donation Agencies who are often chosen by the infertile couples over IVF Centers as a source for donor eggs.

6. Reproductive Medicine Attorney’s who help with contracts, legal issues, and sometimes are in the egg donation business.

7. Patient Associations who represent not only the consumer – but are often supported by stake holders in the fertility field.

8. Professional Associations – Whose membership consist of many of the stakeholders.

9.  Right to Life Groups who don’t want embryos created and possibly discarded. These groups often view outlawing any form of IVF as an important bridge to outlawing abortion.

10. Angry former patients – this group includes former and current egg donors, and individuals who used donor egg -  who feel that they were not given informed consent or where things just went sour. Regret is a powerful emotion.

11. Politicians who want to appeal to certain voting demographics.

12. The Media – who love a good story to tell.

13. Centers or Committees on Ethics and Public Policy,  Certified Health educators, and Government offices – These groups are often filled with folks who think they need to keep the rest of us “safe”.

14. Parents, friends  and advocates of the children created through donor egg.

15. Parents, friends and advocates of egg donors.

16. Fertility Consultants: people who have made a career out of guiding people who are trying to conceive and work with all the stake holders.

17. Happy, and Satisfied Patients who have often have nothing but good things to say about their experiences. This group also includes egg donors and recipient individuals.

I don’t know about you – but to me it looks like there are a lot of horses in this race – and every one has an agenda. That is simply a reality.  Does that make the points of view that come through each lens invalid?  I don’t think so – but I think it is good to know where your information is coming from and to take the information in knowing each agenda.

What’s my agenda? I would like for this conversation around the education of egg donors to continue. I think it is past time. The fact sheet that I wanted to develop is ancient history (yeah, I am still angry).

Perhaps the answer is not to look for unbiased information – because perhaps that simply does not exist.  Right now – I just would vote for information to be created and for folks to know who is supplying it! If “Eggsploitation” does one thing for this community filled with passionate, caring people from every corner – it may be to get all of us to wake up, load our horses into the gate and go!

Posted under "Eggsploitation", "Google Baby", Donor Egg, Egg Donation, Egg Donor Compensation, Facebook, Fertility, Fertility Blogs, Fertility Coach, IVF, Infertility, Infertility Consultants, Infertility Funding, Long Awaited Children, egg donors, eggs