Did you see the cover of Newsweek? The headline is “You Got Your Sperm Where?”
I have been up and down the world of fertility for over two decades – and they got me on this story which is all about the underground world of men donating their sperm directly to women and couples who need donor sperm without going through a commercial sperm bank.
You know – many men give away their sperm all the time in sometimes very unconscious ways. How many men are out there having unprotected intercourse with random women (or not so random) and make babies “for free”?
I would guess that this has been going on since the beginning of time. And yet – this was different. Now we are talking Craig’s List and a host of organized groups where men who want to give their sperm to women in need are offering their services. It kind of reminded me of some kind of weird “Home Depot” of baby making. Do you want to skip all those expensive sperm banks? Tests? And yes – possibly even the doctor? You can.
But do you want to?
Look, I know of people that have been doing this for years with “known donors” – especially lesbian couples or single women who ask male friends to donate sperm to them. But this is different. Here we are talking about strangers helping strangers. And lots of different rules.
I am not going to go through the entire article – I gave you the link. Read it. What do you think? Do you think it is somehow “icky”? Morally wrong? Dangerous?
Is it just smarter to have your sperm pre-screened and tested (although many of these donors seemed to come with papers!)? I have to be honest – I am not sure what I think. The only thing I am totally clear about is the need for donor agreements in these cases.
The legality of the relationship of the donor to the child and the family could be very, very, troublesome down the road without a donor agreement in place. I am also amazed how many people are out there – finding their way through these baby making arrangements all alone without any support, doing crazy stuff like finding sperm donors on Craig’s List!
Come on people…..just get some professional advice! I am not saying that you can’t make a baby in the privacy of your own home….but once you invite a “donorsexual” into your life – that is a pretty permanent decision. One day you will have to explain to your very precious child his or her conception story. And if I heard that my mom found my “bio dad” on some list serve and then did a insemination in a Starbucks – I think that would put me in therapy for years and years.
What about you?