Comments for The Fertility Advocate http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com Talking, writing, educating, and change making in the field of fertility for more than twenty years Mon, 13 Feb 2012 01:08:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Yep, Size Matters – When it Comes To Male Fertility Anyway! by Gimme a break http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/agd/yep-size-matters-when-it-comes-to-male-fertility-anyway/#comment-1601 Gimme a break Mon, 13 Feb 2012 01:08:15 +0000 http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/?p=4419#comment-1601 Another female written articleand from the get go comparing a woman's weight to a guy's size ?? Something you CAN change (weight) vs.something you CAN'T (penis size).Both may cause some trepidation but apples and oranges.So sick of hearing that crap. Another female written articleand from the get go comparing a woman’s weight to a guy’s size ?? Something you CAN change (weight) vs.something you CAN’T (penis size).Both may cause some trepidation but apples and oranges.So sick of hearing that crap.

]]> Comment on Do You Know About The NY State IVF Grant Program? by conceivex conception kit reviews « My Pregnancy Quest http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/east-coast-fertility/do-you-know-about-the-ny-state-ivf-grant-program/#comment-1596 conceivex conception kit reviews « My Pregnancy Quest Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:24:56 +0000 http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/wpblog/?p=1271#comment-1596 [...] going because it easily slides into your purse or perhaps your pocket. If you have been on the shot that lasts quite a long time, don’t expect to conceive right away. Begin a good regular [...] [...] going because it easily slides into your purse or perhaps your pocket. If you have been on the shot that lasts quite a long time, don’t expect to conceive right away. Begin a good regular [...]

]]> Comment on Oprah by Selina http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/pamela-in-the-media/oprah/#comment-1583 Selina Wed, 18 Jan 2012 13:54:46 +0000 http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/?p=4654#comment-1583 Very interesting to watch this. I learned that most (all?) late in vitro fertilizations are done with donor eggs. I watched the clip where you tell the interviewer this, and she says, "Really? Biological [motherhood] is different from genetic [motherhood]?" I was shocked that she seemed to have trouble understanding what you were saying. This fact, that most (or all?) women can't have their own genetic children in their 40's and 50's, is hugely important to understand. In fact, the reason for having children is often to pass down one's own genetic line. I'm glad my brother had children who exhibit the -obviously!!- brilliant genetic qualities of my family! ;) Seriously, because I didn't have biological or genetic children, I very much wanted our genetic line to get passed down, and, thankfully, it was. Very interesting to watch this. I learned that most (all?) late in vitro fertilizations are done with donor eggs. I watched the clip where you tell the interviewer this, and she says, “Really? Biological [motherhood] is different from genetic [motherhood]?” I was shocked that she seemed to have trouble understanding what you were saying. This fact, that most (or all?) women can’t have their own genetic children in their 40′s and 50′s, is hugely important to understand. In fact, the reason for having children is often to pass down one’s own genetic line. I’m glad my brother had children who exhibit the -obviously!!- brilliant genetic qualities of my family! ;) Seriously, because I didn’t have biological or genetic children, I very much wanted our genetic line to get passed down, and, thankfully, it was.

]]> Comment on “The Short End of The Stick”: Infertility, Gifts, and Inheritance by mightbeatranny http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/fertility-coach/the-short-end-of-the-stick-infertility-gifts-and-inheritance/#comment-1581 mightbeatranny Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:42:45 +0000 http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/?p=5238#comment-1581 only someone w/o children would have the time to worry about what they were going to get when someone died. how about the value of things that can't be bought? if you're more worried about $ and things; its good that you didn't have children. selfish. only someone w/o children would have the time to worry about what they were going to get when someone died. how about the value of things that can’t be bought? if you’re more worried about $ and things; its good that you didn’t have children. selfish.

]]> Comment on The Donor Egg Price Fixing Controversy Heats Up! by Megan http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/eggsploitation/the-donor-egg-price-fixing-controversay-heats-up/#comment-1580 Megan Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:41:32 +0000 http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/?p=4519#comment-1580 I have found after 11 years of working with donors that as compensation increases, there is a paradigm shift in the way many donors view the entire process. They begin to feel that they are in a seat of power and negotiation and many times place ridiculous and unnecessary demands on the Intended Parents or the agency and I have found that their dedication is sometimes compromised as well. Since our agency recently signed agreements to serve over 35 countries through a new global program, we created a flat fee system for all donors where they receive $7000 for a first time donor, $8000 for a second time donation, $9000 for a third time donation, and $10000 for all future cycles up to 6 and we have found that this has been a tremendously successful platform as all are treated equal and it really is about compensation a donor for her time, energy, and efforts rather than how hot she is, where she went to school, etc. We found that each set of Intended Parents have their own individual set of criteria and no donor is more important or worth more financially than another. What I wish was further studied by ASRM is the number of cycles recommended for a donor. Currently the recommendation is that no donor perform over 6 cycles. I would like to know that actual research is backing this up as I am concerned for the donors health that we have solid medically researched and documented reasons for all recommendations. I have found after 11 years of working with donors that as compensation increases, there is a paradigm shift in the way many donors view the entire process. They begin to feel that they are in a seat of power and negotiation and many times place ridiculous and unnecessary demands on the Intended Parents or the agency and I have found that their dedication is sometimes compromised as well.
Since our agency recently signed agreements to serve over 35 countries through a new global program, we created a flat fee system for all donors where they receive $7000 for a first time donor, $8000 for a second time donation, $9000 for a third time donation, and $10000 for all future cycles up to 6 and we have found that this has been a tremendously successful platform as all are treated equal and it really is about compensation a donor for her time, energy, and efforts rather than how hot she is, where she went to school, etc. We found that each set of Intended Parents have their own individual set of criteria and no donor is more important or worth more financially than another.
What I wish was further studied by ASRM is the number of cycles recommended for a donor. Currently the recommendation is that no donor perform over 6 cycles. I would like to know that actual research is backing this up as I am concerned for the donors health that we have solid medically researched and documented reasons for all recommendations.

]]> Comment on “The Short End of The Stick”: Infertility, Gifts, and Inheritance by Kelly http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/fertility-coach/the-short-end-of-the-stick-infertility-gifts-and-inheritance/#comment-1565 Kelly Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:09:23 +0000 http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/?p=5238#comment-1565 so, I posted that on my facebook yesterday and my sister was completely offended by my comments. it isn't necessarily that I have fertility issues, my husband didn't want children and so we have none..however my sister has three. All I have ever wanted was to be treated equally with my sister and I don't think that is too much to ask for......however now I am seen as being selfish and greedy. so, I posted that on my facebook yesterday and my sister was completely offended by my comments. it isn’t necessarily that I have fertility issues, my husband didn’t want children and so we have none..however my sister has three. All I have ever wanted was to be treated equally with my sister and I don’t think that is too much to ask for……however now I am seen as being selfish and greedy.

]]> Comment on Child Free Vs. Child Less by Melanie Notkin http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/child-free-living/child-free-vs-child-less/#comment-1560 Melanie Notkin Tue, 20 Dec 2011 20:01:55 +0000 http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/?p=5223#comment-1560 Auntie Marci! I say "childfull" - since you choose to love the children in your life. The term Savvy Auntie certainly applies to you too. As I say: Babies are born from the womb. Motherhood is born from the soul. There are many ways to mother. XO Melanie Notkin, Founder, Savvy Auntie Auntie Marci!

I say “childfull” – since you choose to love the children in your life. The term Savvy Auntie certainly applies to you too.

As I say:
Babies are born from the womb. Motherhood is born from the soul. There are many ways to mother.

XO
Melanie Notkin, Founder, Savvy Auntie

]]> Comment on Child Free Vs. Child Less by Melanie Notkin http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/child-free-living/child-free-vs-child-less/#comment-1559 Melanie Notkin Tue, 20 Dec 2011 19:59:18 +0000 http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/?p=5223#comment-1559 While the term 'childless' has shown in recent studies to have profound effects on women who are not mothers by a certain age (learn more here: http://bit.ly/uPyxDB), 'child-free' implies not a circumstance, but a chosen lifestyle. The term was coined to describe women whose state is not childlessness, but a proactive choice to never have children because they do not want to have children. (This is a very valid choice for those women.) On the flip-side, by a certain age, perhaps when a woman is in her mid-thirties, it's no longer considered 'natural' for her to be childless. Her born state is no longer acceptable in our pronatalist society. But the real choice is to change from the natural state of childlessness, to a state of motherhood. There is no choice in being childless. It is how we are born. I don't choose to be child-free. I yearn for a baby of my own. I mourn my menstruation like a woman suffering from biological infertility. It is no more a choice for her to get her period than it is for me to get mine. I am a natural woman. I am whole. I am not less, nor am I free. I simply just am. XO Melanie Notkin, Founder, Savvy Auntie While the term ‘childless’ has shown in recent studies to have profound effects on women who are not mothers by a certain age (learn more here: http://bit.ly/uPyxDB), ‘child-free’ implies not a circumstance, but a chosen lifestyle. The term was coined to describe women whose state is not childlessness, but a proactive choice to never have children because they do not want to have children. (This is a very valid choice for those women.)

On the flip-side, by a certain age, perhaps when a woman is in her mid-thirties, it’s no longer considered ‘natural’ for her to be childless. Her born state is no longer acceptable in our pronatalist society. But the real choice is to change from the natural state of childlessness, to a state of motherhood. There is no choice in being childless. It is how we are born.

I don’t choose to be child-free. I yearn for a baby of my own. I mourn my menstruation like a woman suffering from biological infertility. It is no more a choice for her to get her period than it is for me to get mine.

I am a natural woman. I am whole. I am not less, nor am I free. I simply just am.

XO
Melanie Notkin, Founder, Savvy Auntie

]]> Comment on Child Free Vs. Child Less by Marci Javril http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/child-free-living/child-free-vs-child-less/#comment-1558 Marci Javril Tue, 20 Dec 2011 19:55:01 +0000 http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/?p=5223#comment-1558 At 40, I got married, feeling the edge of the baby clock going off. I really wanted one. During a tremendous upheaval in my hot/cold marriage, I actually LOST my period due to stress, which I felt was Nature telling me not to have a child with this partner. Needless to say, we divorced after 3 years, and I had not become pregnant even tho we had not used birth control. Fertility? I had an abortion at age 22, and twice more had caused miscarriage thru herbs as a morning after treatment. So I did have 3 pregnancies. My one regret is not going thru the biochemical changes and breast feeding, I feel that would have been a fascinating experience for me, since I am totally into Body Awareness. Having said that, I am content with my destiny - that I did not have to weave my life around the needs of a child, I would have had a very very different path, and perhaps not accomplished all the gifts I have to share in healing for so many, as a teacher and world traveler... Most people who meet me and see me interact with children or youth, ask me "how old are yours?" because I am so at ease with being Mothering through any appropriate circumstance. After studying & teaching Pregnancy massage & helping at 10 Labors, and working with kids creatively all my life, I do NOT identify with CHILD LESS, NOR with CHILD FREE. I have 4 beautiful nieces and a God-daughter that are dear to my heart and I do my best to stay in touch with them. Instead, I identify with being a CHILD at HEART and interacting with everyone's INNER CHILD, so I am CHILD FRIENDLY, and you can always sit next to me on the airplane!! - Your Auntie Marci At 40, I got married, feeling the edge of the baby clock going off. I really wanted one. During a tremendous upheaval in my hot/cold marriage, I actually LOST my period due to stress, which I felt was Nature telling me not to have a child with this partner. Needless to say, we divorced after 3 years, and I had not become pregnant even tho we had not used birth control. Fertility? I had an abortion at age 22, and twice more had caused miscarriage thru herbs as a morning after treatment. So I did have 3 pregnancies.

My one regret is not going thru the biochemical changes and breast feeding, I feel that would have been a fascinating experience for me, since I am totally into Body Awareness. Having said that, I am content with my destiny – that I did not have to weave my life around the needs of a child, I would have had a very very different path, and perhaps not accomplished all the gifts I have to share in healing for so many, as a teacher and world traveler…

Most people who meet me and see me interact with children or youth, ask me “how old are yours?” because I am so at ease with being Mothering through any appropriate circumstance. After studying & teaching Pregnancy massage & helping at 10 Labors, and working with kids creatively all my life, I do NOT identify with CHILD LESS, NOR with CHILD FREE.

I have 4 beautiful nieces and a God-daughter that are dear to my heart and I do my best to stay in touch with them.

Instead, I identify with being a CHILD at HEART and interacting with everyone’s INNER CHILD, so I am CHILD FRIENDLY, and you can always sit next to me on the airplane!! – Your Auntie Marci

]]> Comment on Resources by Kathleen http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/resources/#comment-1555 Kathleen Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:31:53 +0000 http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com/?page_id=3319#comment-1555 I plan on doing on IVF in the near future and I am concerned about the cost of IVF. I was wondering how do you qualify for financial assistance. I plan on doing on IVF in the near future and I am concerned about the cost of IVF. I was wondering how do you qualify for financial assistance.

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