I know, you don’t have time. You are in pain on so many levels, and you just feel stuck. Besides all that is associated with TTC, infertility and medical treatments – you just can’t imagine pleasure. Would it help if I told you, that taking a self nurturing break in the midst of chaos is a fertility booster?

I believe that.  I believe that so much that I am kicking of a special event this Saturday at the upcoming Ladies’ Self-Nurturing Retreat especially created for women trying to conceive. In a supportive environment we are going to create the time  to nourish your body, mind and spirit! It will be a wonderful day to connect with other women and explore different healing modalities led by local and national female practitioners.  It will be a time to re-connect with your body that you are asking so much of right now.

It is an opportunity to relax, restore, renew and open your creative center!

Nina Antolino, the creator of this retreat puts it this way, “As women, all of our creative energies come from this same source, no matter what we wish to create. At this retreat we will learn to find balance and open to this creative power, ultimately finding more flow and fulfillment in our lives.”

And of course it is affordable. Bring a friend and enjoy a 2 for one special for $60.00 if you sign up by Friday.    So, here is the information and I hope that I will see you there!

.  

Conscious Conception

Self-Nurturing Retreat

Saturday, MAY 19, 1-530pm

Relax. Restore. Renew.

Don’t you owe it to yourself?

                                               with Leading Female Holistic Practitioners:

Special Guest- Pamela Madsen:

Opening Your Second Chakra:

Sexuality, Fertility & Creativity

Nina Antolino:

Hip Opening Yoga

 Meditation & Visualizations

Sergiana Bruno:

Massage & Reflexology

Mini Sessions

Teresa Bulit-Gordon:

Core Movement

Maria Fiora:

Belly Dancing /Burlesque

Vicki Kobliner:

Nutrition

Elaine Malin,

Acupuncture Mini Sessions

AND ..

After the retreat, join us for Tapas  (optional) across the Street at Barcelona Restaurant (not included in Retreat Fee)

Call 914-393-9221 or email me at nantolino@aol.com for more info

go to www.limitless-potential.net for the day’s agenda

I feel like such a curmudgeon.  I hated “Mother’s Day” when I was going through infertility. Going into a restaurant and having someone offer me a “Mother’s Day Rose that I didn’t feel I had earned.  When my first IVF son was born – I think there was a moment of feeling like I had made it on “Mother’s Day”, when I kind of enjoyed my first official mother’s day. Perhaps there is a picture of it – somewhere.

Perhaps, it is over the years that my idea of what a mother is has also changed. Men can mother. Women without children that they have birthed mother too. Does the Hallmark Card include them? Or are they left wondering if they should accept the rose?

So, this is why there is no Mother’s Day blog in the Fertility Advocate’s blog. This day created to celebrate Mom’s is probably a very good thing all in all. It’s just that for me, it becomes something loaded, full of mixed messages of who is included and who is not. Who welcomes a day of celebrating mom, and those who would like this day to silently pass.

Yesterday, my husband and my youngest son met my protest over my complex feelings over Mother’s Day and redid my terrace. They laid green carpeting over the cement of our terrace floor. They planted flowers in boxes and threw out garbage to make it a pretty place for me to work. They did it because they love me. And I guess, “Mother’s Day” gave them the excuse to express their love. There is that.

Pacific Fertility Center of LA announced this week that they are  implementing a new In Vitro Fertilization Egg Freezing  Financial Package for patients  who desire to freeze eggs for later use.

In 1997, PFCLA pioneered one of the most revolutionary financial programs in the field of medicine by sharing financial risk with their patients (The Refund Plan), in the form of monetary refunds in case of failure to achieve a pregnancy with In Vitro Fertilization.

Now Pacific Fertility Center in Los Angeles is excited to announce, an IVF egg freezing package. The details of the plan are as follows:

Patients who are less than 44 years old and are not ready to conceive at present but want to preserve their fertility potential by freezing their eggs qualify for this plan. Patients need to have a normal ovarian reserve as assessed by a PFCLA physician.

The plan cost is $10,000.

The plan includes as many IVF cycles as necessary to generate and freeze at least 20 eggs.

The Plan is completed once at least 20 eggs are frozen.

The Plan excludes testing (usually covered by insurance), fertility medications and anesthesia.

This trend, to support women in their desires to preserve their fertility at an affordable price is truly pioneering – and I believe that we will soon see more IVF Centers create programs such as this one. To set up a free consultation to see if this program is right for you, please contact Pacific Fertility Center.

Let’s start with some basic facts. Infertility is not uncommon. One out of every 10 couples in the U.S. is infertile. That translates to more than six million people running into problems conceiving and bearing a child. Of those,  40% will find a male factor, 40% will discover a female factor, 10% will learn that both partners have something going on and the remaining 10% won’t get an answer at all, it’ll remain a mystery.

That’s statistical landscape. Now your got to plug in your individual circumstances into the equation to make an informed decision about if and when you should get help of a reproductive endocrinologist.  There are simple and effective diagnostic tools to help you analyze your situation and figure out the best course of action. The key here is to get proactive and not ignore possible infertility.  Take control. and help yourselves make the difference.

When Is It Time To Rip Up The Calendar: Reasons to Get Help Now:

AGE. Maternal age is probably the single most important element to consider right off the bat (other than establishing the presence of eggs and sperm, that is).  The bald fact is that a woman’s fertility diminishes with the years. Its decline begins even before the age of 30, becoming more pronounced after 35 and plunging after 39. The reason is simple. Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have. Over time, that ova supply get depleted. The remaining eggs age right along with the rest of the body. That means, if the prospective mother is 35 or older, give nature no more time than six months before consulting an expert.  Some very fabulous experts are even offering free consultations so there is no reason to wait.

Know Your Health History:

Illnesses (past and present), diseases, conditions, surgeries and medications can all pack a powerful wallop to your reproductive systems. So make a detailed medical dossier for both partners  Don’t leave out anything. If you’re putting checks in the yes column, get to a doctor.

Abnormal sexual or reproductive function. Irregular menstrual cycles and difficulty achieving or maintaining erections indicate conception will likely require some form of medical intervention.

Chronic illnesses and syndromes. Diabetes, hypothyroidism, hypertension, even peptic ulcers contribute to infertility. Sometimes it is the disease itself. For example, in women, diabetes or PCOS often result in ovulatory dysfunction.  Left untreated endometriosis (endometrial tissue that grows outside of the uterus) leads to scarring and blockages and impairs fertility. Sometimes it is the treatment of a disease which can contribute to infertility. Antidepressants, insulin and thyroid hormones can cause irregular menstrual cycles. Tagamet, used for peptic ulcers, can inhibit sperm production, high blood pressure meds, may interfere with eh sperm’s ability to fertilize an egg.

Past Illnesses, treatments and surgeries. Did he have mumps around the time of puberty? Or radiation treatment for a cancer like Hodgekin’s? Those have a negative impact on sperm production. You can check sperm count easily with a new over the counter test called SpermCheck.  Did she have pelvic or abdominal surgery, including an appendectomy? Those can cause pelvic adhesions that inhibit conception or  can result in ectopic pregnancies. Standard D & C’s , even the extended use of an IUD can scare the uterus, with repeated miscarriages a possible consequence.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Any STD – gonorrhea, chlamydia or herpes – no matter how long ago – is a trouble sign. STD’s compromise male and, especially female reproductive systems with scarring of delicate ducts and tissue. Even herpes, which does not cause infertility, co-exists with microorganisms which can compromise the ability of the uterus to support a pregnancy.

Environmental and workplace factors. Exposure to radiation, chemicals, particularly pesticides can have a deleterious effect on male sexual function and sperm production. Women working with chemicals solvents, nitrous oxide, vinyl chloride, for instance, may be at risk for early miscarriage.

Help yourself. After you’ve taken that inventory and the resulting profile looks good, you still want to do everything possible to stack the odds in your favor. More on that tomorrow. You can boost your chances at conception at home – but that is another blog for tomorrow. Reproduction, as you by now deduced is one of the bodies most subtle and complex functions. If you want to learn more,  or get the one on one assistance of a fertility coach, shoot me an email – and we can arrange a free consultation.

This is a good press release that I am happy to pick up.  Sure, it’s announcing a new doctor to a known practice. But, there was  good information in there that everyone woman of color should know;

“The leading cause of infertility among black women is uterine fibroids.  Black women develop uterine fibroids at a younger age than white women and the incidence of fibroids is higher in black women at every age, compared to white women.  By the end of the reproductive years, the incidence of uterine fibroids in black women is 80%.  As a result, black women have hysterectomies for treatments of fibroids more often than women from any other ethnic group.  Dr. McCarthy-Keith, whose medical research focuses on the molecular mechanisms of uterine fibroid regulation, states that “black women are disproportionately affected by uterine fibroids and uterine fibroids are a common diagnosis among black women undergoing infertility treatment.”

Lack of information holds so many people locked down and isolated. Thank heavens that in the African American community there is now The Broken Brown Egg, a national support group created to support the needs of people of color who are trying to conceive.

One of the biggest issues is getting people to come out to get the information that they need. Shame is a big stopper.  I am so grateful to “A Family of My Own” which will be holding the first face to face in person fertility conference on infertility  on April 21st,  on the east coast – since the time that I left The American Fertility Association. I think The AFA held one conference the year that I left. After that, the tri-state area has been void of educational conferences where people who are trying to conceive can come out “in person” and get the experience of support and information in human time. There is a difference.

The internet is great for so much. But nothing beats a real conference.  I hope that there will be people of all colors there.  I will be there.  And I know that it will change lives.

I think for many people struggling with infertility, Passover and Easter with all of its’ symbolism can be really hard ones to get through.  Any family holiday really can be a rough time of the year for folks who were hoping to have a pregnancy bump to show off to their family and friends – or who dreamed of sharing the holidays this year finally with a baby.

Yes…the holidays can be tough stuff when you are trying to conceive. After all, they are about celebration and we may not feel like celebrating. Holiday’s can be about giving thanks and we may not be feeling very thankful at the moment. Holidays are markers of time and remind us that once again we are not sharing these potentially joyous celebrations with a little one or a swelling belly. Holidays are about gatherings and seeing family. Our extended families may be growing around us, and we may feel like the flawed couple in the midst of toddlers and pregnancy announcements. Our families may be looking for “updates” if we have been open about our struggles, or may ask subtle inquiries about our plans for family building. Holidays that have the expectations of being filled with joy, can for those of us experiencing infertility, be a conundrum. One big problem.

How do you cope? Can you reclaim the joy that you used to feel during the holidays before infertility came a calling? There are many theories and suggestions by mental health experts who specialize in caring for the emotional health of the couple experiencing infertility. Everyone acknowledges that this is a toughie.

Suggestions often center around taking yourself into as many “kid free” zones as possible. That could be really hard for Jews who go to family Seders. And if you are a Christian, you might be able to get out of egg rolls – but I know of no child free Church service.  Sometimes, we just get to be with our discomfort. And that can be really hard. We really have just a few choices. One is to flee the holidays. And the other is to participate even if you are uncomfortable.

Reproductive difficulties or infertility is a robber. A thief that is trying to steal your dreams of a family. A burglar of joy. If you loved decorating your door with colored eggs and or cooking the brisket for Passover should you allow infertility to take that joy away too?

Perhaps, thought should be given into taking charge of the holidays the way you are encouraged to take charge of your infertility!

Maybe you should be the one to host and coordinate Seder dinner.  Being a host and hostess takes effort and planning. If you enjoy cooking, you can experiment with new recipes and really out do yourself! . You are in charge of the guest list. You might want to include some friends that are also experiencing infertility. You and your spouse will be very busy during the festivities making sure the soup is just right and you will be the boss, not the guest which puts you in a different role for the evening. One of my friends who has experienced infertility told me that she always made Mother’s Day! She was able to be in control, a part of a family day, and have an important role that she was able to receive praise and satisfaction for. Infertility is isolating enough, and your family want to see you and include you.

Being the hostess is a good way to be a important part of the celebration and having a focus other than your private pain.

Take charge of the holidays and hopefully next year, someone else will be in charge!

I found out that I was having infertility when I was 24 years old.  Three years later, my husband and I welcomed our first born son, Tyler into our lives through IVF.  Infertility so dramatically changed my life view, that I have spent close to three decades supporting and changing the lives of other people going through incredibly difficult times building their families. I literally grew up with many of the leaders in the world of reproductive medicine.  I have been in the back rooms, the labs, and in the inner hallways of the pharmaceutical companies. In other words, when it comes to the  world of high tech baby making I am an insider, and I have seen it all.

People tend to find The Fertility Advocate blog or call me for fertility coaching when they are feeling stuck, or frightened on their infertility journey.  I become their beacon of light during what can be a very dark time, and what I often help with is direction around the dreaded second opinion. The  second opinion is often filled with fear for patients. They worry about upsetting the apple cart where they are – and they don’t know quite what they are looking for. But for me, it’s often the second or third opinion where the answers lie.

Don’t worry,  it won’t make your doctor hate you and besides it is about taking care of yourself.  The good news for second opinion seekers if that several IVF Centers around the country are now offering various types of free initial consultations. 

For instance, Pacific Fertility Center of LA offer free phone consultations. And you can get a new pair of expert eyes on your case with no cost to you. But even if the doctor that you want to see doesn’t – it is often worth the time and the money to get some new insight into your situation.

What You Need to Know And What to Expect From a Second Opinion

You will need to get your medical records to the doctor before your  consultation is really going to do anything for you.

Expect to have a physical exam,  blood work or an ultrasound done even if you have had these tests done before. If this is a free consult, expect to pay for all blood work.

It is often through a second opinion that you will find a new road on your path to parenthood. On the other hand, a second opinion may also reassure you that you are presently at the right place for treatment and no change is necessary. It is just time to keep the faith and stay the course at your present center.

Use the second opinion to learn about innovative new treatment plans that you may not have heard of before.  There are always new treatments – and sometimes you just have to be pointed in a new direction.

Use the second opinion to get an overview of the program and the doctors. Do you like the atmosphere of the center? Are the staff friendly and warm? How was the experience for you when you booked the appointment? If it wasn’t great – probably that is an indicator of what is to come! This is a first date! Do you want a second? How well were you treated?

Are you still with your gynecologist and uncertain about whether or not it is time to move on to a fertility specialist? Use the second opinion to have that important conversation with an expert.

Are you facing a difficult decision such as moving on to egg donation? Once again – getting the second pair of eyes on your case may be the perfect solution to knowing that you are making the right decision.

Second opinions may change everything. Please don’t be frightened of them.

• Healthy Body Means Healthy Baby: A diet high in saturated fats and refined sugar is not ideal for a healthy reproductive system. Maintaining a healthy diet of fresh organic fruits, vegetables and meats could create a healthy body and increase your chances of conceiving.
• Eliminate the Toxins: Quit smoking, stop drinking and avoid recreational drugs. “Smoking and drinking affects ovulation and fallopian tube functioning making it more difficult to get pregnant or stay pregnant,” says Dr. Wahl. In addition, these harmful toxins could negatively affect a growing fetus.
• When It’s Time It’s Time: Dr Wahl stresses the importance of knowing your ovulation cycle. He explains, “You can’t get pregnant naturally if you don’t make love at the right time during your cycle. About 20% of women know they are ovulating when they get a twinge of pain or a series of cramps… this is thought to be caused by the release of an egg from the ovary.” If you don’t know when you ovulate, Dr. Wahl suggests buying an ovulation kit. “They’re inexpensive and quite accurate,” he says.
• I would add that men should get tested too! What good is an ovulation if there is no sperm? Check out SpermCheck Fertility for a fast, easy, inexpensive way to get the low down on your partners sperm.
• In the Words of Freddie Mercury, Too Much Love: Dr. Wahl explains, “While it is true you can get pregnant during your ovulation cycle, excessive lovemaking during ovulation is counterproductive.” Male resources are not plentiful and inexhaustible. As a result too much sexual activity at the wrong time will ensure failure when the time is right. Dr. Wahl advises to make love every other day starting on day 10 until day 20 for women with regular 28 day cycles.
• Relaxation is Key: There are many things that can add stress to your life. However, experts agree that reducing stress is essential when trying to conceive. High stress levels signal the pituitary gland which causes the slow release of the luteinizing hormone, a hormone necessary for ovulation. A shortage of luteinizing could lower the level of progesterone, which is necessary to nourish and sustain an embryo’s implantation.

Dr. Wahl offers sound advice for couples trying to conceive.  And to me a lovely new age and reassuring twist! “You are the Alter of creation. Honor your womanhood, your intuition, and your feminine energy and you will create your optimum level of health and well-being thus allowing you to conceive and bring a healthy baby to term. You are a fertile spirit. You are the Goddess of Fertility. “

About Dr. Ian Wahl, DA, Lac, CH- Dr. Ian Wahl, is a board certified Doctor of Acupunture and herbalist specializing in women’s health and reproductive Oriental medicine at the Natural Fertility Health Centers in Arlington Heights, IL. Dr. Wahl can be reached at www.NaturalFertilityHealthCenters.com.

For many women, the decision to get pregnant can take on a life of its own. It was so affirming to see what I know to be true, represented in a new survey conducted for SpermCheck® Fertility. 42% of those who conceived say they became obsessed with getting pregnant once they started trying. Yet just 10% say their partner shared this obsession.
Approximately 7 million couples will experience conception issues and about 50% of these infertility problems will be directly attributed to the male, according to John C. Herr, Ph.D., director of the University of Virginia’s Center for Research in Contraceptive and Reproductive Health; most male infertility problems are mainly due to low sperm count, he adds.

Yet women are typically the ones to take action when conception is slow to happen, often undergoing a battery of sometimes invasive and typically costly testing. While analyzing the male’s sperm count is considered a key first step by infertility specialists – less than one-fifth of men (17%) ever get tested for their sperm count, according to the SpermCheck survey. And just 23% of the women surveyed in the SpermCheck survey who are currently pregnant or who have conceived a child said their partner did everything he could to get himself as healthy as possible before they started trying to conceive.

I think a part of this fear, is that there are a percentage of women (validated through the SpermCheck survey) that fear that their partner will leave them if they don’t get pregnant. Somehow, the assumption is that getting pregnant is her responsibility.

While there is absolutely nothing to be self-conscious about, many men are often reluctant or embarrassed to go to their healthcare provider to take a sperm count test, even if it means that their partner might take it upon herself to start having herself tested and in some cases begin taking fertility treatments.

The SpermCheck survey found that 8 out of 10 women (83%) trying to or planning to conceive say their partner assumes he is fertile, and 43% say their partner would like to know for sure that his sperm count is normal. A much higher number, more than two thirds of women surveyed (67%) say they would like to know their partner’s sperm count is normal when they start trying to get pregnant.
The following are highlights of this survey:

Fertility worries:

A little less than half (44%) of those trying/planning to conceive are worried that when they actually want to conceive, they won’t be able to because they tried hard for years to avoid pregnancy.

More than half (59%) of those trying/planning to conceive say they won’t tell people they are trying to get pregnant in case it doesn’t happen.
Almost half (49%) of women who took longer than expected to conceive indicated their significant other was not eager to have his sperm count tested.

23% of women who have conceived/trying to conceive would not seek advice or testing for their significant other if it was taking longer than expected to get pregnant.

More than a quarter (27%) of those trying/planning to conceive are embarrassed to discuss fertility with friends and family, and a similar number, 23%, say their partner is uncomfortable discussing male fertility issues.

So, if you are a woman trying to conceive with a man—please know that it’s really not all about you and you are not alone in feeling like it is! When it comes to baby making, it really does take two! Talk about it with your partner, he is way more receptive than you might think. And please—get his sperm count tested before you being any fertility treatment!

The first tremors that baby making may be in your future, is that dinner conversation starts to turn into who is pregnant or having another baby in your social circles. This can lead to strolls in shopping malls, where your woman makes a sudden stops in front of baby toy and clothing stores. You may notice that she lingers there, making happy sounds about this cute thing or that darling something or other. Notice, that she presses you for happy sounds as well.

You may find babies are being put into your arms at every family function with everyone making chirping sounds about what a good father you would make. Books with baby-making tips and parenting advice may have found its way into your bathroom reading basket. You may have even found “The Top 100 Baby Names” in your email inbox. One thing is for sure, when your lady is ready to make a baby — you will know it.

Assuming you are on board with her baby-making desires, be ready to join her in some pre-conception check-ups! In case you didn’t get the memo, men contribute half of the baby-making goods and are also equally responsible when conception does not occur easily. This simple fact is something that many men have happily ignored for centuries, putting the conception burden squarely on the shoulders of the woman.

When entering the baby making arena, it is important to know that it may take up to one year for conception to occur. And approximately 7 million couples will experience conception issues.

But before the female goes through a battery of tests (which is usually the first thing that will happen), it’s the manly thing to do to check your sperm count to see if it’s normal or low.

It’s estimated that only 20 percent of you (men) in couples struggling to conceive have this test early on or at all. What’s more, almost half of all infertility problems are directly attributed to the male, and most of them are mainly due to low sperm count. So, before you start your baby-making engines, you want to be in the best possible shape to conceive.

Healthy Sperm Tips:

1. How are the boys? The easiest way for men to get a handle on what is happening with their sperm is to do a quick check in! How is the count? Is it normal? A normal sperm count is above 20 million sperm per milliliter. You can find out if your sperm is in normal range in the privacy of your own home with a brand new over the counter test, called SpermCheck Fertility. It’s the only FDA-approved at-home screening test for men to determine normal or low sperm count. SpermCheck Fertility costs substantially less than a visit to the doctor. It’s an affordable and accurate first step in male fertility testing and can help inform you as to whether or not more comprehensive clinical fertility evaluation is needed.

2. Feed Your Fertility: Eat all the things you know you should but probably don’t, including fruits, vegetables and low-fat protein. Some studies have suggested that some men with low sperm count may also have a zinc deficiency. Boost your zinc and maybe your fertility by eating more meat, wholegrain cereals, seafood, and eggs. Selenium, which is found in Brazil nuts, meat, seafood, mushrooms and cereals, has also been found to make sperm very happy.

3. The Drink That Refreshes: Sorry but you’ll have to cap your caffeine and alcohol drinks to one cuppa joe (or latte or cappuccino) a day and maybe the occasional glass of wine. Heavy drinking is a fertility wrecker for both women and men.

4. Get Moving: First ditch the spandex, then go onto a regular, moderate workout plan. Exercise is the gift of the fertility gods. They help keep your hormones happy, your weight under control and bring down your stress levels. Heavy exercise that involves a lot of heat or compression of your testicles (like bike riding) is not good for your sperm. And stay out of the sauna or hot water soaks after you work out. Sperm hate the heat, keep your testicles cool!

5. Smoke Signals: Tobacco, even marijuana is no friend of fertility. Smoking can increase susceptibility to sexually transmitted diseases in both men and women, and it is known to reduce your sperm count. It’s just plain bad.

6. Take a Good Look Around: Your work environment may be a contributing factor to your fertility. According to the National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health, ongoing exposure to certain things like pesticides, chemical fertilizers, lead, nickel, mercury, chromium, ethylene glycol ethers, petrochemicals, benzene, perchloroethylene, and radiation can wreak havoc with your sperm count, and quality.

Becoming a daddy may be one of the most exciting things to ever happen to you. Enjoy the pre-show performances. Studies show that hot sex can boost conception! It’s show time! Sex is on the front burner, and think of all the fabulous, romantic, and sexy opportunities that await you. Consider going on a “Baby Moon”, a vacation all about sex, love, and conception. If all goes well, you won’t be able to get away alone together for a while.

What To Do Next After Reading This Article?

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Check out some helpful resources: You can find SpermCheck Fertility on line at Walgreens On Line or CVS on Line.