the fertility advocate

Talking, writing, educating, and change making in the field of fertility for more than twenty years

The Day of Menstruation – Do You Meet it with a Gift?

Today in my google alerts a blog post from Babble.com caught my eye  – it was called “Do or Don’t: Auntie Flo Gift”.

I had never heard of an “Auntie Flo” gift before…but for women who are trying to conceive or perhaps coping with infertility the feeling of sadness that can happen with the first sign of blood can be overwhelming.  This blogger was talking about a custom that I never heard of which was buying yourself a gift or treat on the first day of your cycle as a way of making yourself feel better.

Menstruation is so complicated.

For women who are TTC – menstruation can feel like a failure or even a little death. Dreams are ended with the first sign of blood.  I like the comments on the blog – where some women who are also trying to conceive left their tips for how they cope. Many were giving themselves the gift of permission. Permission to drink wine or coffee – eat sushi – engage in activities that give them pleasure, but that they withhold from themselves when they think they might be pregnant.

Personally, I think that is a great idea.  If you have been withholding something because you think your body might be pregnant – and you are not – then drop the weights for a little while and give into those pleasures. Pleasure can be healing.

I hate that when we are trying to conceive that our menstruation becomes a marker of pain.  Our menstruation ties us in so many ways to a deeper connection to our own bodies – and I hate that this vital part of our being can be so associated with pain.

So perhaps bringing a gift of pleasure to an otherwise unwelcome  arrival to the first day  of menstruation while we are trying to conceive is not a bad idea at all. This concept will certainly be a topic of conversation this week with my Fertility Coaching clients. I am curious what they think – I have never asked them about buying themselves gifts.

What do you think? What do you do? Do you give yourself an “Auntie Flo Gift”?

About Pam Madsen
Talking, writing, educating and change making in the field of fertility for more than twenty years
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