the fertility advocate

Talking, writing, educating, and change making in the field of fertility for more than twenty years

If Great Sex Can Boost Fertility and Conception – Here Are Some Sexy Tips!

A few months ago, I wrote about some new research that linked great sex to a higher chance of conception. And I even managed to do it without making a remark about the people who make their living “stimulating” the pigs during the insemination’s! And trust me – that was hard!

But seriously, I think that there is a big difference between telling people to go have great sex – and them actually having great sex! Look – I remember what it was like. I am talking about “conception” sex. Truthfully, it was fun for about the first month. The thrill of no birth control – the hotness of knowing that we were going to make a baby together. But when I didn’t get pregnant that first month – the “worry button” went on – and the fun slowly ran out of our bedroom. Frankly, telling people who are six months into conception sex to spice it up can feel a bit like telling people in the dentist’s chair to relax when the sound of the drill comes on. But I am going to try anyway! Last Valentine’s Day I put out a spice it up list – and I am going to offer it to you again. Because maybe you missed it the first time (or the second time I published it) because let’s face it – we need tools to spice it up! And I think that this is a really great list!

And it is more than that – when you are spending your sexual credits on “conception sex” – you tend to lose touch with your desire and your body. Sex simply becomes a means to an end – or worse – it can become a science experiment! Just a short while  ago I wrote a commentary on The New York Times Magazine cover story “What Is Female Desire?” - if you didn’t read the NYT’s piece – click the link and check it out. It is worth reading! So is my commentary which you can find by clicking the word commentary!

So, let’s take a conception sex break – and truly think about what light’s our desire. And trust me – there was a time when it was not the green light on the ovulation kit! When was the last time that you and your significant other explored that?

And look, it is not just us folks who are trying to conceive. Many of us have a disconnect between our sexual souls and our physical bodies – and that just gets worse when we are dealing with any kind of medical interventions such as infertility treatment. Many of my readers are either “baby making”, thinking about baby making – or writing, talking and teaching about baby making!!!

So, here are some of my own spice it up recommendations. And, I am not going to tell you to go out to dinner and take a warm bath with bubbles. Really all that will do is relax you, feed you and clean you up! Not a bad thing…but Good Housekeeping Magazine can tell you that!!!

I am going to ask you to consider exploring a new kind of sex education that is taking hold across the country!!! In many ways – this is “New Age” out of the box sex education – and it is taking root across the country. And that kind of sex education is all about getting women in touch with their bodies and their desire! It is being taught and explored by health and sex educator’s like Alisa Vitti, the Founder and Director of Laughing Sage Wellness in NYC.

On Valentine’s Day Weekend, Alisa ran a workshop just for women which is all about getting women in touch with their bodies and their desire. I asked Alisa about how her workshop could help women who are trying to conceive – and according to Alisa, “The process of conception for a woman involves her recognizing that she is a precious vessel. In recognizing this, she may at once also realize that there are beliefs and habits she is holding on to that prevent her from easily conceiving – her vessel is more like a over-crowded closet than a warm nurturing environment for a new life to enjoy. In this upcoming workshop, women will learn how to practice the daily art self care, self prioritization and self pleasure and we’ve found at Laughing Sage Wellness in our Natural Fertility Programs this coupled with our dietary protocols help women get pregnant faster.”

So, while this workshop has happened already – check out Laughing Sage’s website to get on the mailing list and see when they are running another one! So many of these kinds of workshops are about getting more out of life and out of the time you spend in bed not sleeping! And they are really sexy, safe and fun!!!

How about you and your Honey taking a field trip to Babeland or Good Vibrations - two very upscale and female friendly erotic “toy stores” that are run by women! You can feel as comfortable walking into these stores as you can walking into Bloomingdales!!! And the big plus here is that no one is trying to squirt you with perfume! Both of these stores have really fun and out of the box adult education workshops several times a week! They are often free or at a very low cost!

Are you getting the idea yet? So, what if you are shy – and you think that you might want to explore – but you are not quite up to a workshop yet – or a group activity? Well, you can work one on one with a Somatic Sex Educator (think of them as “in the body” sex educators). Check them out online to learn more about Somatic Sex Educators through their Professional Association and to find a referral. Or, you can check out some of the new breed of on line sex educators that have put together really wonderful and simple video’s that you can access for not a lot of money and in the privacy of your own home.

One of my personal favorites are The Pleasure Mechcanics - taught by two young women who are fabulous sex educators! And there are great books like Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas, and some really fun and out of the box blogs to get you thinking! Check out Susie Bright and Violet Blue!

So, are you out of that bubble bath? Have you read the articles on a women’s desire? Are you thinking about perhaps getting in touch with yours? Are you ready to spice it up and perhaps increase your chances of conception? Sounds like more fun to me than most home work assignments!

Not Your Mother’s Sex Education Resource Guide:

Laughing Sage Wellness – Holistic Reproductive Health Center

Association of Somatic Sex Educators (Certified Sexolgoical Body Work) – Learn About Sexological Body Work and Find a Practitioner

Good Vibrations – Sensual and Erotic Toys, Education and Events

Babe Land – Sensual and Erotic Toy, Education and Events

The Pleasure Mechcanics – One on One Coaching – Events – On Line Educational Videos

Betty Dodson (one on one coaching and author)

Celeste and Danielle - Sex and Intimacy Coaching

The New School of Erotic Touch – Incredible On Line Library of Educational Videos, Books, Lectures

Urban Tantra By Barbara Carrellas – A great Valentine’s Day Gift – and she runs workshops!

And……two out of the box sex commentators, educators and “sex radicals” (love that phrase) who blog and you better be over 18!

Violet Blue

Susie Bright

Oh! And one more!!!

Have you ever heard of a “Cuddle Party”? Totally G rated and it is still a lot of fun!! Okay….maybe PG17.

Post Script – Are you my “Friend” on Facebook yet? If not – “Friend” me – it is a great way to keep in touch and current of all of my writings and activities – and for me to know about yours!!! http://www.facebook.com or Follow me on Twitter – PamelaMadsen or visit me on Fertility Ties or EmpowHer!

About Pam Madsen
Talking, writing, educating and change making in the field of fertility for more than twenty years
1 comment on this postSubmit yours
  1. There is another very comfortable and female friendly site that is geared for women, but it does have something for everybody! http://www.pleasuresforher.com is owned and operated by a woman! Check it out and have fun!

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