I am feeling twitched this morning.  I just did my trot around to all of the various fertility and infertility blogs that I skim when I wake up with my morning coffee, and I came across this title – “Men Lie”.  Apparently at a recent educational meeting about fertility preservation directed at young women – the merits of making men use a condom was emphasised. Apparently the rationale for condom use is that “men lie” and that they could give you a STD (sexually transmitted disease).  That is some sex education lesson!

As a fertility advocate and sexologist – I agree that barrier protection is the only protection against STD’s besides monogamy.  And yes – it is true that STD’s can contribute to infertility. But guess what folks – it  is not about men lying.  Where did you think those men  got those STD’s? They got it from women…STD’s are shared between the sexes and men need to protect themselves too from their female partners who also may have STD’s and not know it. STD’s can make men infertile too.  And if the message is about infidelity and not being able to trust male partners – has anyone seen Oprah or Dr. Phil lately? Guess what? Women cheat and don’t tell either.

This is not about lying – this is about self responsibility – it is not about blame and pegging the sexes into stereotypical roles i.e. that men are lying dogs.  The blog also talked about how men hate wearing condoms…well guess what? Women can share the condom wearing responsibility! There is a wonderful product on the market and it can be found at the pharmacy – it is called the female condom. It is easy to insert and wear - and women can share the joy. The great thing about the female condom is that it does not effect female sexual pleasure, provides protection against STD’s and it is more comfortable for her partner.

Many people come into a sexual relationship without knowing if they have a STD, and can pass it on quite innocently. The best defense for both sexes to protect their health and future fertility is self responsibility. For me – that is the message – not “men lie”.