the fertility advocate

Talking, writing, educating, and change making in the field of fertility for more than twenty years

Turning Great Sex into a Beautiful Conception

Well, there is a new study (of course there is!) that links hot, wild, unbridled sex with increased conception rates. In other words, if you are just going through the motions in the bedroom – you are less likely to conceive a child. Do you find this surprising? I don’t. But now…we have scientific research!

According to the experts, couples trying to have a baby should have ‘Gourmet Sex’. The good doctors say that this is when both partners make sure that their lover has an oh….”satisfying experience”.

In fact, if you are seeking a baby – bring out the candles, sex toys, do a little pole dance – whatever it takes to make your sexual encounter as wild and exciting as it was when you first met. Because according to this research – that is what will bring you the highest chances of conception. Not yoga. Not a special diet or exercise plan. Not watching the calendar. Nope. It’s good, old fashioned, woo hoo hot sex!

Now come on – stop blushing and center yourself! Doesn’t this make sense? Let’s take women for instance….Conception is about receiving – opening our ‘barn doors” and letting sperm come into our bodies in the deepest possible way. When we are turned on sexually and have deep, strong orgasms – according to the scientists – this encourages the sperm to fertilize the egg! When women are in a deeply sexual and surrendered state – they are able to literally welcome the sperm deeply into their bodies. And a woman’s orgasmic pleasure, (you know – all of those intense muscular contractions?) helps to pull or suck up the sperm into her cervix and from there into the uterus. Presto changeo – pleasure can equal baby!

And…the men – the makers of the sperm – have better quality and quantity of sperm when they are turned on and can feel their woman’s pleasure!

‘Couples who are trying to have a baby often mention that the sex becomes a bit of a chore, a bit mechanical and routine. That’s the wrong thing to be doing,’ said Dr Allan Pacey, a senior lecturer in andrology, the study of male fertility, at Sheffield University.

‘The sex should be as wild and thrilling as it was when they first met, when they weren’t thinking about babies to give them the maximum possible chance of having a baby,’ added Pacey, who is also secretary of the British Fertility Society.

Now according to the research, a normal man produces some 250 million sperm during sex. Now, if a man is having a deep sexual experience – being offered more stimulation and his desire is peaked – he can increase this number by 50 percent and boost the quality of the sperm as well!

And sexy sperm are healthy sperm! Healthier sperm swim better through the female reproductive tract giving them a greater chance of fertilizing an egg to make a baby!

According to Dr. Joanna Ellington, ‘One of the things that men don’t realise is that the more excited they are, the further back in the testicle they are going to draw on reserves [of sperm].’

‘So if you have what I call ‘gourmet sex’, where you really spend time and you make it fun for both partners, that is going to make the man more excited, more stimulated and he is going to ejaculate more sperm – and they are healthier sperm’.

The research in humans is backed up by studies of pigs. Danish scientists found that sows sexually stimulated by humans during artificial insemination had a 6 per cent increase in fertility.

Now, I write about sex quite often in my fertility blog. And I have had an incredibly famous reproductive endocrinologist ask me what fertility has to do with sex – because every one knows that babies are made in petri dishes wih pre-washed sperm!

Sometimes, these guys really have to get out more! It has always been clear to me – that our sexuality is an important component in this conception business. And I truly believe that issues with sexuality could be the cause of some of the cases of “unexplained infertility”- because if we are closed up sexually as women – how can we conceive anything? And if we are turned off sexually as men – how do we create robost, egg seeking sperm?

And I wonder – what if we could improve IVF statistics, if we brought some of the spice of sexuality into the science of the medicine? You know – if men make better sperm when they are really, really turned on – why do some IVF Centers not allow the wives to go into the “production” room? I mean can you think of a more stressed filled way to create sperm – than alone in a production room – with the rest of the world right outside the door? How robust are those little guys going to be?

Maybe if the life partner should be encouraged to help create that sperm sample? Maybe partners should always be encouraged to be together – during insemination’s and transfers. With the men stroking their partners hair – and holding their hands? Maybe couples should be encouraged to have sex the night before retrieval and transfer? If sexuality boosts fertility – why do we work so hard at separating it when couples have to seek the help of reproductive endocrinologists? Who is that for? For the patients or for the staff?

Is it simply about our own comfort levels? Does the “sex” in “fertility” make us uncomfortable?

And if it does – how can we change that?

Oh – I know how – do a study!

About Pam Madsen
Talking, writing, educating and change making in the field of fertility for more than twenty years
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Talking, writing, educating, and change making in the field of fertility for more than twenty years

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