So this is one of my favorite stories about reproductive endocrinologists (and trust me - I have a lot of stories!).  Set the scene: I am at the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals (ARHP) annual conference in San Diego about three years ago.  It was back in the day when I was at The American Fertility Association - and we were exhibiting.  I had never been to an ARHP conference before - and I loved it.  Wayne Shields their executive director was a happening kind of guy - very forward thinking - and the conference was smaller and more interactive than my usual ASRM experience.  It was also the subject matter of the conference - it was all about reproductive health!  The focus was not  simply on one part of reproductive health such as fertility - the conference went deeply into all reproductive health issues - from Sex, STD’s, Fertility, Infertility, Birth Control, and more.  If the subject matter was from the waist down - ARHP had you covered.

So, there I was - hanging out in the exhibit area sipping coffee and trying not to eat the cookies, when the “Big Wigs” of ASRM walk in.  I am talking inner circle here….they were very surprised to see me at an ARHP Conference!

“Pamela! What are you doing here?” Dr. Number One Big Wig asked?

“OH! Dr. Big Wig! It is so good to see you too! What do you mean what am I doing here? Where else would I be?”

“Well, Pamela - this conference does not just cover infertility! It covers so many things - like sexuality!”

“Exactly! That is why I am here! I am interested in all aspects of reproductive health including sexuality.”

Now this statement was met with a group of men staring at me with blinking eyes. Did you ever hear the expression “a deer in headlights”?  Well - that about covers the expressions on the faces of the “circle of power” that was staring at me in a moment of stunned silence.

“Pamela….what does sex have to do with fertility?” stammered Dr. Big Wig.

Now it was my turn to look back at my little concerned group of politically connected and powerful doctors…..what was I suppose to say? I mean everyone knew that babies came from little petri dishes created by doctors in white coats or the stork! Right?

I think I laughed to break the sheer awkwardness of the moment.

“Come on Dr. Big Wig!” I kidded. “I don’t really have to explain the birds and the bees to you! Do I?”  I think that I offered up a sexy little wink!

With that we all laughed that really uncomfortable  laugh that people laugh before they flee as quickly as possible from each other.

What does sex have to do with fertility? Well….read the headlines Dr. Big Wig! Sex and fertility have been in the news a lot lately. Funny how some people are connecting the two! I was so ahead of my time!

All this week the media has not be able to get enough of the news that daily sex improves sperm quality.  Now admittedly, this was a small study of strong and sturdy Australian men who ejaculated for seven days in a row  (I like to think of them all looking like Hugh Jackman! Come on….it helps - right? ).

What happened was that their DNA quality went up! Now this goes against everything we have been telling couples trying to conceive for years. The old advice was abstinence and withholding ejaculation for several days before attempting conception. The thought was that this would increase volume and therefore help conception. So….Dr. David Greening the author of the study doesn’t really know why the sperm are healthier the more men have sex - but his numbers didn’t lie.  Maybe it has something to do with oxygen exposure - or maybe sex has everything to do with fertility when all of our operating systems are working properly!

And what about that recent study about “Gourmet Sex” and increasing chances of conception? That study was just a few months ago too! According to that study - the wilder the sex the better the chance of conception.

So Dr Big Wig……what does sex have to do with fertility? Apparently everything. I will give you the book that I gave my sons to read about the birds and the bees…..maybe it will clear things up for you!

But all kidding aside - what are we doing as fertility experts to make sexuality an issue that couples are more comfortable with? But of course, we would have to be comfortable with this ourselves first - and that is not always so easy. This subject makes so many of us squirm - laugh and flee!

We have opened our hearts to acupuncture, stress reduction, nutrition and yoga. Perhaps it is time to take the next step and embrace sexuality as a conception aid.  There are studies now to support this conversation. Sex is medically indicated!

What about giving out copies of “Urban Tantra“?  What about helping our patient community feel more connected with their sexuality while we are quite frankly taking the sex out of conception? Why not improve our patient’s chances for conception by offering some kind of sexuality and intimacy workshop at our centers?  And perhaps even help a marriage that is under stress by offering guidance and support with intimacy during a very difficult time.

Who is going to be the ground breaker here?

Come on….you will capture the media! I promise! You might even get on Oprah.

Posted under Fertility, Infertility, Sex Education, conception tips, sexual dyfunction, sexual health, sexuality, sperm production

You might have noticed that there is a lot of breaking fertility news this week. That’s because ESHRE is going on in Amsterdam and everyone is publishing their scientific papers and sending out press releases. So once again there are articles in the press that are grabbing for attention  - some are things that we have known for years,  but someone has a new slant. So we are reading once again on why lap tops reduce male fertility (it’s the heat dummy!), or why bicycle riding is bad for sperm production or my personal favorite of this week’s fertility news - that daily sex improves sperm quality!  I don’t know if it does or doesn’t  - but if the men can’t play with their computers, or ride their bikes - they might as well do something constructive with their time! Right?

So, in this sea of press releases, today, Dr. David Kreiner (the doctor that I work with) a nationally renowned Long Island reproductive specialist, has decided to take on the long-standing moral and medical dilemma of multiples with a unique approach to IVF designed to make single embryo transfer (SET) the standard of care available to everyone. 

Kreiner’s East Coast Fertility center offers a critical twist on routine IVF services. With the new Single Embryo Incentive Program, East Coast Fertility will freeze all viable unused embryos retrieved from a single IVF cycle and transfer them at the patient’s discretion–one embryo at a time—at no extra cost.

“We’ve reduced the sticker shock of IVF so dramatically by absorbing the fees associated with cryopreservation and subsequent transfers, that we’re providing a financial incentive for patients to do the right thing—for themselves, their marriages, their financial futures and, most important, any babies they may have,” Kreiner said. “Our goal is to help people already under the stress of infertility, choose the possibility of one healthy child with each pregnancy.”

Recent headline-grabbing cases, such as the public dissolution of Jon and Kate Gosselin’s marriage, underscore the spectrum of perils associated with high order multiples. They range from infant mortality and disability to parental depression, divorce and economic disaster. The Single Embryo Incentive Program is the first financial package from a fertility center in this country that defrays the economic risk of using one embryo at a time.

I have to admit that I am incredibly proud to work with a guy who has come up with a program that takes on this issue in such a personal way. The high order multiple birth problem has been the fertility field’s dirty laundry and so many people pay lip service to this issue without really doing much about it.  Oh - there are guidelines - and high order multiple births are down - but there are still far too many high order multiple births in this country.  We as a field have gotten better about talking about the collateral damage of multiples but few have come up with a solution.  Most American couples are uninsured for fertility treatment. They can barely scrape together payment for a single round of IVF and so they feel compelled to put in as many embryos as they can, hoping one will take. Unfortunately, their best intentions boomerang and the result is a medical tragedy that, often, is worse than the underlying infertility. In many European countries where fertility treatment is covered, single embryo transfer is the law.

Kreiner, a pioneer in the field who trained under legendary IVF innovators Drs. Howard and Georgianna Jones, vowed to bring an end to the heartache and ruin that comes with high order multiples.

“I take this personally, “ said Kreiner. “Over the years, I’ve become close with so many of my patients and have lived through their high-risk pregnancies, the surgeries on tiny infants and the collapse of many marriages under the strain.  We doctors must do more than advise people that single embryo transfer is the prudent choice. We must make it possible for patients to make this choice and avoid the lifetime complications of high order multiples. That means shouldering some of the economic burden, especially for the uninsured and cash-strapped.

“East Coast Fertility certainly makes less on the Single Embryo Incentive Program. But I feel it is our moral obligation to insure that money doesn’t stop people from making the right decision.”

So I think that this is a pretty good new story - but I don’t know if a doctor stepping up and saying that he was a part of creating the multiple birth mess - and now he is going to be a part of the solution by developing an innovative program to reduce high order multiple births can compete with laptops, bicycles and daily sex.  We will see.

Posted under Dave Kreiner, East Coast Fertility, Fertility, Infertility, Single Embryo Transfer Program, embryos

I can’t help it. The latest fertility breakthrough has given me a case of the big ickys (and no ‘big ickys’ is not a scientific term).  And I can’t quite get a handle on why. But I never could look at the medical presentations when Dr. Kutluk H. Oktay would demonstrate his ovarian tissue transplants with the transfered ovarian tissue bulging during “ovulation” under the skin of the woman’s forearm or tummy.  I always had to turn away. Look - I am a fertility advocate not a doctor! I admit to occasionally getting squeamish.

I am trying to be all forward thinking about this latest and greatest research just released at this year’s meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE), in Amsterdam.  And it is just not completely working. Perhaps it is about Dr. Silber’s vision for how to apply this latest reproductive technology rather than the breakthrough itself.

The breaking news is in fertility preservation (something that I am, and have been tremendously supportive of) and Dr. Sherman Silber of St Louis is doing some ground breaking work on ovarian freezing - and promoting this as the future for fertility preservation for young woman.

What Dr. Silber is doing is actually removing an entire ovary from a woman and freezing it through vitrification (a newer fast freezing process that is more successful) for later use for reproduction. And he is marketing this as a fertility preservation option for women who wish to delay child bearing. When they are ready to build their family - Dr. Silber just “transplants” the ovary right back in the woman and apparently they just start ticking again! If I understand this properly - the women don’t need fertility drugs to get their ovaries pumping again.

Now, I get egg freezing for younger women for sociological reasons and cancer patients. But I really can’t get my mind around surgically removing a young girls ovaries to freeze them for her future fertility when this is not cancer related. Why do this when we can freeze eggs so well now and just leave a woman’s ovaries in her body where they belong?

This feels - well - so completely radical.  I also understand why cancer patients would do this as they may lose complete ovarian function after radiation or chemotherapy.  Getting egg freezing to these patients is often difficult as the reproductive endocrinologists have to work really fast to time an egg freezing cycle with the patients treatment. But with ovarian transplants - they could just go in - rescue the ovary and worry about getting those eggs later. For cancer patients - ovarian transplants is a incredible break through.

I was chatting with my friend Lisa (who works in fertility) last night - her daughter Rosie just turned 16.  I asked her about ovarian transplants - and how she would feel about this for her daughter as a means of banking her future fertility. Lisa asked me why I was being gross so late at night.  Oh - she got an “ick” too.

I don’t know about the future of ovarian transplants for sociological reasons. But I didn’t get Facebook or Twitter in the beginning either.

Posted under Biological Clock, Egg Banking, Egg Freezing, Fertility, Fertility Preservation, ovarian freezing

When you have experienced infertility, surround your with friends that have or are experiencing infertility - and spend the better part of 22 years advocating for fertility patients - you spend a lot of time  waiting for babies to arrive.

I have hoped for, waited for and welcomed my sister’s son, (conceived through IVF), my two boys (GIFT and IVF), my sister-in-laws two sons after five years of repeated miscarriages and, through the years, countless others who have entered the families of those I care about. I have listened to the myriad stories of the obstacles overcome and the fears challenged that did not stop so many in their pursuit of all the various means of family building that were available to them.

Infertility has permeated the lives of my family, my closest friends and my neighbors. Since I began my work as a patient advocate, my family of friends who are infertile has expanded, and the waiting for babies has continued. I was recently in a book store where I saw an “advent” type calendar for a typical waiting period for a child. It was only nine months long! If only that was true for all of us! The waiting, for the infertile, can be an endless circle beginning with hope, turning to disappointment, and then back to hope again. And this is how we wait.

I have waited with two very good friends for their babies. One of them is my oldest friend who I have loved since I was small. We have gotten into trouble together, we have double-dated together, she was a bridesmaid at my wedding. Infertility is something we never planned to do together, but it became yet another tie that bound us together. We shared doctors, did IVF cycles together, compared estrodials, and said “I know” to each other a lot. And mostly we waited to be mommies together. My children arrived first, and we waited together for her pain to end. I have a beautiful picture of her holding my son Spencer at his bris, her eyes shining, holding the secret, still unknown, of her pregnancy.

My other friend was at the time, my newest; the special kind that finds you when you aren’t looking. We met through volunteering on a infertility related committee together. She was looking for a birth mother. I listened and learned about the world of private adoption: advertising, resumes, portable adoption phones that ring in movie theaters, and birth mothers who can change their mind. I heard her voice the same insecurities we all feel when we want something so much and fear that somehow we are doing something wrong that will prevent what we want most from entering our lives. And we waited together for her pain to end. On a beautiful morning, the phone rang, my friend said to me, “Pam, you would never believe what has happened!”

And she welcomed her baby home.

I have waited for many babies. I am waiting now. The pain can end, the beginnings can happen. I am waiting with you.

Posted under Fertility, Fertility Support, Infertility, adoption

Yesterday was “Pink Saturday” - it is a huge party day in San Francisco and it is the day before the Pride parade - It is also the day that the dykes have their motorcycle march - and it a fun day around town. I had hoped to be in San Francisco this Pride - but life was full of changes and by the time I got around to setting up my quick weekend trip, the ticket fares were sky high.

So, Pride for me was going to be a NYC event - which is lovely - but not where most of my queer community live. Frankly, I was at a loss for how I was going to participate in Pride this year.  But Pink Saturday was no longer just a SF event - and was celebrated in many other towns across the country - so I asked my husband to get his pink on  and I dragged my very straight and very cool man down to the city for a Pink Saturday beer with his wife at Stonewall Inn which is celebrating forty years since the famous Stonewall Upraising which many people acknowledge as the birth place of the gay rights movement.

Kai ordered two Coronas with lime and we clicked out bottles and made a toast to this changing world that allows a “straight couple” to sit in a gay bar as comfortably as if we were shopping in Target and ordering up a Starbucks Frappuccino.  Yes - the world is indeed changing. At least the culture is even if  government still seems to lag behind.

And I guess that was what Pride was about for me this year. It was about how normal everything was. I have been raising awareness of LGBT family building rights for years - speaking in front of gay audiences talking about the various ways that the LGBT community can access reproductive technologies to build their families - and attending LGBT baby parties.  It was as if LGBT family building was the flavor of the month for a while with articles in New York Magazine and special features on the news shows. Everything about gay families was big news. But yesterday, after Kai and I had our anniversary drink at Stonewall - we went to Cowgirls - a great local Tex Mex restaurant around the corner from Christopher Street. It is a very community orientated fun place to eat. Great drinks - lively bar - and they give our crayons and drawing paper to the kids.

The place was filled with all of NYC.

Gay men and women gathered and were partying - straight looking couples sharing plates of amazing nachos - and families. All kinds of families - two mommy families and two daddy families - and one mommy and one daddy families. We were all mixed up together doing our own thing. We were a slice of life in NYC - a community that was a whole. There was not any of “them” versus “us”.  We were a beautiful salad of diversity.

Now it is time for our government to catch up in every state. But like a great article in the NY Times  pointed out in today’s paper - political change always starts with the people first.

Posted under LGBT Family Building

A few months ago, I wrote about some new research that linked great sex to a higher chance of conception. And I even managed to do it without making a remark about the people who make their living “stimulating” the pigs during the insemination’s! And trust me - that was hard!

But seriously, I think that there is a big difference between telling people to go have great sex - and them actually having great sex! Look - I remember what it was like. I am talking about “conception” sex. Truthfully, it was fun for about the first month. The thrill of no birth control - the hotness of knowing that we were going to make a baby together. But when I didn’t get pregnant that first month - the “worry button” went on - and the fun slowly ran out of our bedroom. Frankly, telling people who are six months into conception sex to spice it up can feel a bit like telling people in the dentist’s chair to relax when the sound of the drill comes on. But I am going to try anyway! Last Valentine’s Day I put out a spice it up list - and I am going to offer it to you again. Because maybe you missed it the first time (or the second time I published it) because let’s face it - we need tools to spice it up! And I think that this is a really great list!

And it is more than that - when you are spending your sexual credits on “conception sex” - you tend to lose touch with your desire and your body. Sex simply becomes a means to an end - or worse - it can become a science experiment! Just a short while  ago I wrote a commentary on The New York Times Magazine cover story “What Is Female Desire?” - if you didn’t read the NYT’s piece - click the link and check it out. It is worth reading! So is my commentary which you can find by clicking the word commentary!

So, let’s take a conception sex break - and truly think about what light’s our desire. And trust me - there was a time when it was not the green light on the ovulation kit! When was the last time that you and your significant other explored that?

And look, it is not just us folks who are trying to conceive. Many of us have a disconnect between our sexual souls and our physical bodies - and that just gets worse when we are dealing with any kind of medical interventions such as infertility treatment. Many of my readers are either “baby making”, thinking about baby making - or writing, talking and teaching about baby making!!!

So, here are some of my own spice it up recommendations. And, I am not going to tell you to go out to dinner and take a warm bath with bubbles. Really all that will do is relax you, feed you and clean you up! Not a bad thing…but Good Housekeeping Magazine can tell you that!!!

I am going to ask you to consider exploring a new kind of sex education that is taking hold across the country!!! In many ways - this is “New Age” out of the box sex education - and it is taking root across the country. And that kind of sex education is all about getting women in touch with their bodies and their desire! It is being taught and explored by health and sex educator’s like Alisa Vitti, the Founder and Director of Laughing Sage Wellness in NYC.

On Valentine’s Day Weekend, Alisa ran a workshop just for women which is all about getting women in touch with their bodies and their desire. I asked Alisa about how her workshop could help women who are trying to conceive - and according to Alisa, “The process of conception for a woman involves her recognizing that she is a precious vessel. In recognizing this, she may at once also realize that there are beliefs and habits she is holding on to that prevent her from easily conceiving - her vessel is more like a over-crowded closet than a warm nurturing environment for a new life to enjoy. In this upcoming workshop, women will learn how to practice the daily art self care, self prioritization and self pleasure and we’ve found at Laughing Sage Wellness in our Natural Fertility Programs this coupled with our dietary protocols help women get pregnant faster.”

So, while this workshop has happened already - check out Laughing Sage’s website to get on the mailing list and see when they are running another one! So many of these kinds of workshops are about getting more out of life and out of the time you spend in bed not sleeping! And they are really sexy, safe and fun!!!

How about you and your Honey taking a field trip to Babeland or Good Vibrations - two very upscale and female friendly erotic “toy stores” that are run by women! You can feel as comfortable walking into these stores as you can walking into Bloomingdales!!! And the big plus here is that no one is trying to squirt you with perfume! Both of these stores have really fun and out of the box adult education workshops several times a week! They are often free or at a very low cost!

Are you getting the idea yet? So, what if you are shy - and you think that you might want to explore - but you are not quite up to a workshop yet - or a group activity? Well, you can work one on one with a Somatic Sex Educator (think of them as “in the body” sex educators). Check them out online to learn more about Somatic Sex Educators through their Professional Association and to find a referral. Or, you can check out some of the new breed of on line sex educators that have put together really wonderful and simple video’s that you can access for not a lot of money and in the privacy of your own home.

One of my personal favorites are The Pleasure Mechcanics - taught by two young women who are fabulous sex educators! And there are great books like Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas, and some really fun and out of the box blogs to get you thinking! Check out Susie Bright and Violet Blue!

So, are you out of that bubble bath? Have you read the articles on a women’s desire? Are you thinking about perhaps getting in touch with yours? Are you ready to spice it up and perhaps increase your chances of conception? Sounds like more fun to me than most home work assignments!

Not Your Mother’s Sex Education Resource Guide:

Laughing Sage Wellness - Holistic Reproductive Health Center

Association of Somatic Sex Educators (Certified Sexolgoical Body Work) - Learn About Sexological Body Work and Find a Practitioner

Good Vibrations - Sensual and Erotic Toys, Education and Events

Babe Land - Sensual and Erotic Toy, Education and Events

The Pleasure Mechcanics - One on One Coaching - Events - On Line Educational Videos

Betty Dodson (one on one coaching and author)

Celeste and Danielle - Sex and Intimacy Coaching

The New School of Erotic Touch - Incredible On Line Library of Educational Videos, Books, Lectures

Urban Tantra By Barbara Carrellas - A great Valentine’s Day Gift - and she runs workshops!

And……two out of the box sex commentators, educators and “sex radicals” (love that phrase) who blog and you better be over 18!

Violet Blue

Susie Bright

Oh! And one more!!!

Have you ever heard of a “Cuddle Party”? Totally G rated and it is still a lot of fun!! Okay….maybe PG17.

Post Script - Are you my “Friend” on Facebook yet? If not - “Friend” me - it is a great way to keep in touch and current of all of my writings and activities - and for me to know about yours!!! http://www.facebook.com or Follow me on Twitter - PamelaMadsen or visit me on Fertility Ties or EmpowHer!

Posted under Fertility, Infertility, Sex Education, sexual dyfunction, sexual health, sexuality

I have been thinking a lot about resilience lately. There is the big kind of resilience, what it takes for a group of Iranian Citizens to be pushed back by guns and oppression and then rise again. And then there are the smaller kind of personal displays of resilience. What it takes for a couple facing the roller coaster ride of infertility treatment to come back again and again to try to have a baby.

Some of us are more resilient in nature. There is a great blog today that I read called “That’s The Way The Cookie Crumbles”.

The blog explores how Murgdan, the blogger deals with the disappointment and fear over her infertility. I love this passage:

“I often thought I would simply die if something were really wrong. I likened an infertility diagnosis to a nuclear bomb, that would leave me permanently shell-shocked and utterly destroyed. I read blogs and posts by women going through IVF and couldn’t imagine how they were even able to wake up and face the day.

Here I am. Unable to conceive naturally. IVF/ICSI the sole option. Failed IVF cycle. I am here. I survived. There was no nuclear bomb. I wasn’t destroyed, demolished, or obliterated. I wake up and face each and every day even though I can’t get pregnant. I’ve been trying for two years. I’m just heartbroken. I want kids so badly.

My response? That’s the way the cookie crumbles. It happens”.

And she is living to fight another day. She was not as she said “demolished or obliterated”. We do go on. We are a club of people that learn pretty quickly that if we are going to make it through - we had better learn to pull up our own big white panties and put one front in front of the next.

Resilience is a great thing to learn, and infertility may be your first teacher. Infertility might be your real first experience in how to be a duck in the rain - letting, the water slide off of your back so that you can remain dry in the storm. If it is, than infertility has given you a gift. Because it is one of the life’s better skills for survival and success.

Some of us are naturally resilient, we are born that way - the way others of us are born with athletic skills. But just like anyone who is interested in learning how to play tennis - you can learn. Perhaps start with a simple phrase such as the one that Murgdan likes - “That’s the way the cookie crumbles” and then do like her - grab that dixie cup and gather up the crumbs. She is going to eat them anyway - and I am sure that there are a chocolate chip or two that I could ask her to share.

Posted under IVF, Infertility

So according to FertilityAuthority.com they just landed a $500,000 angel round.  I have to be honest - I don’t have a clue what an “angel round” is - but if they are handing out $500,000 checks I wouldn’t mind going a round with an angel either.

In this downward dog economy, that is a major accomplishment, and speaks not only to CEO Gina Bartasi’s business savvy, but more importantly to the importance of the developing fertility websites that are thriving in cyberspace. 

Now - press releases are press releases - and I get that - but I don’t know about FertilityAuthority.com’s  claim that they are the only web portal dedicated to infertility.  Because from where I sit - the first web portal dedicated to infertility was INCIID and the last time I checked they were still there.  Those INCIID girls were doing the infertility portal thing before the rest of us even knew there was an Internet! I also think that INCIID is one of the most under ultlized fertility web portals out there. I mean just take a look at their demographics and traffic! It is frankly astonishing.  And the list goes on - with other successful new comers to the market such as Fertility Ties which has traffic that sweeps everyone under the ground in their social networking for fertility site.  Are you curious about the sites and the demographics? It is easy to check out for yourself! From non-profits to fertility centers - we are living in an information age - simply go to one of the handy dandy websites that are free and will give you the skinny on who is hanging where you are hanging out.  People are looking for themselves now - in fact recently there this great post on My Fertility Plan  -  “My Fertility Plan Explores The World of Fertility Websites…And Guess What We Found!”.

And I am sorry - but I can’t find my own fertility blog in these services yet.  I guess I am not old enough.

But since I am encouraging you to look under everyone elses skirt,  The Fertility Advocate has about 5000 visitors a months with most of my traffic coming from search engines and direct links. I have a high stickiness factor which means that people stay a while to read what I am writing and a very low bounce rate - about 10% which means when they find me they were probably looking for me. About 20%of my readers are “addicts” which means that they return again and again.  I am sure that the computer geeks can find my numbers somewhere online - I am just not savvy enough.

I love this new world of fertility websites as I think that they are an incredible resource for fertility patients - and frankly I am glad that I don’t have to compete with these incredible women who are launching them.

7.3 Million Americans are struggling with fertility issues, and they are in the midst of an incredible  life crisis. What the patients are looking for is immediate updated information and support.  And what marketers are looking for is where the fertility patients are hanging out - so that they can better tap into their pocket books.

FertilityAuthority.com has done a wonderful job investing in their content development and upscale style.  According to CEO Gina Bartasi says, “Our goal has always been to provide the best fertility content on the web, and users are recognizing the quality of our site. Investors have witnessed our early success and want to be a part of our future growth.”

I need to give snaps to Gina for delivering on the content - it is constantly updating - and of very high quality.

It is such an interesting time in the cyber world of fertility - it is where the action is. 

According to their press release

“The funds will be used to enhance the site’s technology, boost revenue capabilities, generate additional content and continue to aggressively build traffic”. 

I hope that more investors will show up and support this important and growing market that is filled with a bunch of incredible race horses looking to develop the next best thing for the fertility consumer. The real winners in this race will be the fertility patients who now have an incredible array of websites in several different flavors and  environments in which  to find support and information during what may be one of the most difficult times of their lives.

Posted under Fertility, Fertility Authority, Fertility Blogs, Fertility Support, Fertility Ties, INCIID, Infertility

Jon and Kate Gosselin of reality show fame (Jon and Kate Plus Eight) announced yesterday that they were filing for divorce.  Is the high order multiple birth that they became famous for through fertility treatments, be the very thing that has contributed to the failure of their marriage? The statistics say “you betcha”. This is the tragedy of high order multiple births that is under reported.

It is ironic to me that just last week I wrote a piece about the collateral damage of high order multiple births,  inspired by listening to Dave Kreiner, MD of East Coast Fertility talk about why he offers a special program on single embryo transfers. That is one of the best pieces I have ever written. It is a must read because it captures the impact of high order multiple births on everyone - the marriage - the children and  the doctor.

You know - when we talk about the down side of high order multiple births we tend to concentrate on the consequences to the health of the children because they can be so overwhelming.  Severe life long problems can be brought on due to the complication of pre-mature birth and low weight.  This is common knowledge by now - we have all seen images of high order multiple birth babies hooked up to machines on the evening news  with such high profile cases at the “OctoMom” hitting the media circuit.

We have listened endlessly to Dr. Phil talk about the health ramifications to the children - and the high financial cost to society at large.  But what you don’t hear about enough about is how all of this effects the marriage of the couple that are faced with raising high order multiple births.  And Jon and Kate are not alone in having their marriage be a casualty of what we, the voyeurs, often see as a fascinating and  very cute oddity.

Just look at the issues that face the Mom and Dad of high order multiple birth families. This can include an amazing array of problems such as and not limited to social stigma, pregnancy loss, infant mortality, on going chronic health issues, learning disabilities, marital dissatisfaction, children’s health, child care issues, unmet family needs, parenting stress, financial pressure, exhaustion, maternal depression, and the lasting impact of the infertility experience.

I am waiting for the onslaught of the media coverage of Jon and Kate’s divorce. I am sure that it will be everywhere. Who is to blame? Bossy Kate? Passive Jon? The media coverage? I am sure that there will be many more hidden camera’s catching Kate in a moment of overwhelm landing a spank on a unsuspecting little bottom.

No - the media and their audience most likely won’t be kind. That is how it is - first you are the darling of the world and then you are the devil. But perhaps there will be some kind of silver lining to all of this - and it won’t be to the self destructing Gosselin family. Perhaps it will be the continued turning on of the light around the high cost of multiple births.  The intention of fertility treatments is to create families - not destroy them.  Unfortunately - the impact of high order multiples births hold a myriad of dangers to the children and their parents that are not often immediately apparent to the eye.

Posted under East Coast Fertility, Fertility, Infertility, Jon and Kate Plus Eight, high order multiple births

Sometimes, going through infertility is like being Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.  There you are - minding your own business when a tornado blows through your house  - pulling it up from it’s roots and throwing you and your home through the air.  Yes - when infertility strikes it can feel like you and your very foundation  has been hit by a violent storm.  There you are in your once safe and calm home, and you now find yourself flying through the air. Perhaps like Dorothy you can look out the window. Flying by on a broom stick is the helpful neighbor shouting out all kinds of advice!  And you want to turn away - but you can’t. You are trapped.

“See this doctor not THAT one!”

“Just Relax-Dearie!”

“If you are meant to have children you will!” and with once last cackle as she swishes by with her broom “Just adopt! You will then conceive!”

It is terrifying. You feel like you just can’t escape. And then your house crashes to the ground. You try to steady yourself and survey the damage. “Will insurance cover this?”  You wonder to yourself. “Probably not” - is the answer.

You open the door and there it is! The Yellow Brick Road! You know deep in your heart if you can just follow this path - you will find the Great Wizard  - and this Great Wizard of Oz will help you have your baby!

So, off you go! And along the way you will meet many friends who hold your hand and try to help. They may offer different directions - and it may get confusing at times. Do I do regular IVF or Micro IVF?  Can I use my own eggs or do I need donor eggs or a surrogate? What is iCSi?

You may feel exhausted and just want to sleep in the poppy fields - but The Wizard is waiting! You pick yourself up and drag yourself to the doors of the Emerald City!  You know if you can just get in - you will find your answer.  You will get cleaned up! Get a pedicure before you meet The Wizard - after all - if The Great Oz  likes you - the Wizard will help. Right? Don’t forget to pick up bagels or cookies for his waiting room!

But in the end, just like Dorothy - you find out that The Wizard of Oz is really just a person with special skills. It was never completely about The Wizard. You had it in within you all along to make your own dreams come true. After all - it was your feet that got you through that trip in the air when infertility hit your house right? You are the one that found that path on the yellow brick road. It was your determination of spirit that allowed you to walk all of this way while ducking the apples that were thrown from the trees. And it was you that found The Wizard. It all in the end came from you.

I don’t know how you will actually find your way back home to Kansas and your long awaited family. But I know just like Dorothy you will find the power within yourself to get there. I have seen hundreds of couples find their homes again -even when they thought that it was impossible. I don’t know if your family will find you through birth or adoption. Donor gamates - or IVF. I just know that if you open your hearts and believe in yourself and your future -  that one day you will open your eyes and find yourself back in your own bed - surrounded by your family again.

And just like Dorothy there will come a time when all of this will seem so far away that you will wonder if it was all just a dream……

So look down at your shoes - Nikes - Slippers - Pumps or Ruby Slippers - The power is truly within your own heart to propell you down the path that will bring you home.

Any one ready to click their heels three time?

Posted under Fertility, Fertility Support, IVF, Infertility, Micro-IVF