I am doing my book tour with the support of two fabulous women in their thirties.  I simply could not be doing the Shameless Book Tour without them. They are a lesbian couple with big plans about getting pregnant soon! Somehow they are thinking nesting while on the road with me as we go from place to place.  One of them asked me to publish a blog on things to think about if you are thinking about conceiving! So here it goes:

So You Want to Get Pregnant?

1. Get those annual exams done! If you are thinking about getting pregnant – get your annual exams done first! You know what I am talking about – get your teeth cleaned and any x-rays done.  What about you mammogram and your pap? If you have been trying to conceive for a year – please take a short break and do your annual exam again! We want you to be a healthy parent!

2.  If You Are Under The Age of  of 34 and not planning on getting pregnant right now:  Do Get a Fertility Evaluation.

3. If you are sexually active and you are not in a monogamous relationship or only “fluid bonded” to one person – Please use condoms. Sexual Transmitted Diseases (STD’s) is a leading cause of infertility.

4. If you have been Trying to Conceive already and it is not happening – please see a Fertility Specialist if you are 35 years old and have been trying for six months or longer. Too many women waste precious years sitting in their gynecologist’s office cycle after cycle. Or on too many cycles of clomid.

5. Make friends with your body. Your relationship to your body does count. Get in touch with yourself. What is your body trying to tell you through physical symptoms? Read “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing” by Christiane Northrup, MD. Learn about how the effects of nutrition, stress reduction, complimentary medicine, sex and lifestyle can impact on your fertility.

6.  If you use a intimacy lubricant when making love,  use a product that is fertility friendly, and organic such as  YES Baby.

7.  If you find yourself going through infertility, it’s important to build yourself a “Fertility Support Team”.  A Fertility Support team could consist of your everyday friends and family. For some people that is the best – and for others the idea of talking about infertility with close family and friends is really edgy. But there can be lot of components to a “Fertility Support Team”.  For peer support there are lots of great on line opportunities for connection. Check out Fertility-Ties for a great on line 24/7 community of peer support and professional answers, or INCIID has a great network of message boards.  If you prefer meeting face to face check out the in person support groups that are offered by RESOLVE and Parents Via Egg Donation.

8. Think about hiring a “Fertility Consultant” if you are able to afford one (and some of them are not too pricey at all). It is wonderful to have your own personal guide through the world of reproductive medicine.  Your Fertility Consultant acts as a kind of “Conception Life Coach” You don’t need to live in the same town or even state as your consultant. Most of the work is usually done on the telephone.

9. Don’t let your sexuality fall away! I believe that hot baby making sex is possible and important!

10. If you are seeing a fertility doctor, and it’s not working,  please get a second opinion   A great way to get a second opinion is to take advantage of free consultations. To learn more about free consultations and second opinions read this blog entry.

11.  Stay Educated! Read fertility blogs like The Fertility Advocate or one of my favorites, Lisa Rosenthal’s blog. There are all kinds of fertility blogs on line and they are wonderful and different.  It is a great way to feel like you are not alone – get daily support and information – and learn about the reproductive medicine community. There are doctor blogs,  reproductive attorney blogs,  patient blogs, and “Tell it like I see it blogs”!

Fertility Authority has a great blog community – but there are lots of independent fertility bloggers out there, (I only linked to a few here) with so many unique stories and points of views. Go investigate community sites like Blogher, and Empowher. You will find just what you are looking for…..

12. Explore the websites of the fertility industry’s professional organizations such as The American Society of Reproductive Medicine and The Association of Reproductive Health Professionals. These professional organization often have good patient information on them – and you can get familiar with fertility practice guidelines there. Also the medical information may be more updated then the fact sheets that are on the patient organization’s websites. I was just checking some of those out – and I was shocked to see some fact sheets that were older than ten years old on some of these sites. Check for dates. Don’t  just assume that fact sheets are current just because they are there (uh-oh a “Don’t” slipped in here!).

13. Investigate your clinic’s success rates by jacking into The SART Report.